Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the line graph compare the numbers of jobs in millions in retail menufacthering retail agriculture helathcare in united state overall menufecturing was the largeest employers in 1960 but overtaken by both retail and helthcare by the end of peroid while jobs in manufacture and agriculture decline after1980 and jobs in pther two sectors roae stedily thorughout in 1960 around 15million peole work in manufecturing the highest figure among the four this rose to about 20 millions in 1980before falling gradually to 13 killions in 2020

in contrast healthcare and retail showed upward trend health care started with the lowest number of jobs at just under 3 millionin 1960 and suddenly it grew 4 million in 1980 and sharply increse to11million in 2000 and the and before ending the 2020 they were just over 14 millions

agriculture was the only sector to decline constently it employed about 5 killion people in 1960 butfell to around 3 million in 1980 and less then 2 million around 2020 remaining the smallest employes

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing begins as the largest sector, while healthcare and retail grow and agriculture declines. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million in 1980 and its fall to 13 million by 2020. However, the overview says manufacturing was overtaken by both retail and healthcare, which is true only by the end, and the retail trend is not developed with figures. Some details are inaccurate: healthcare rises from about 2 million to 5 million by 1980, not from just under 3 million to 4 million; agriculture starts at about 6 million, rather than 5 million. A clearer overview and more precise comparisons across all four sectors would make the account more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening overview is followed by paragraphs describing manufacturing, healthcare and agriculture. Phrases such as “in contrast” help signal a change in trend, and the sequence of years is generally understandable. However, retail is mentioned in the overview but receives no separate supporting detail, so the coverage and progression feel uneven. Several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly the healthcare description, where the sequence from 1960 to 2020 is difficult to follow. Some linking is also repetitive or imprecise. Grouping the sectors by contrasting trends, and using clear sentence boundaries and time markers, would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “decline,” “highest figure,” and “employed,” which helps communicate the main patterns. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the report less clear, for example “menufacthering,” “helathcare,” “constently,” and “increse.” Some word choices or forms are also inaccurate: “suddenly” does not describe the gradual rise in healthcare jobs, and “largest employers” is less precise than describing the sector with the most jobs. Repeated use of “jobs,” “million,” and “rose” also limits variety. Aim for accurate spelling and use precise trend language such as “increased steadily,” “peaked,” and “fell.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “while” and a comparison beginning “in contrast.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction and punctuation sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, the opening sentence lacks a clear subject–verb structure, while the healthcare sentence combines several stages without clear boundaries. There are also errors in articles, agreement and verb forms, as in “the line graph compare” and “they were just over 14 millions.” Use a clear subject and verb in each sentence, check singular/plural agreement, and separate each sector’s key changes into manageable sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.