Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Overall, what I found interesting is that manufacturing started as the biggest sector, but its numbers decreased after 1980. In contrast, retail and healthcare increased over the period, while agriculture showed an overall decline.

Looking at manufacturing first, there were about 15 million jobs in 1960. This number rose to 20 million in 1980 which was the highest point. After that it fell to around 17 million in 2000 and then to 13 million in 2020

Another thing that stands out is the growth in retail. It increased steadily from about 6 million jobs in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 15 million in 2000, and around 16 million in 2020.

Healthcare also saw strong growth, rising from about 2 million to 16 million jobs.

Finally, agriculture went in the opposite direction falling from around 6 million jobs in 1960 to just 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main trends accurately: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The manufacturing and retail paragraphs include useful figures that support these points. However, the overview could make the key comparison clearer: by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint-largest at about 16 million, while manufacturing has fallen to 13 million. Healthcare is only described as rising from 2 to 16 million, with no intermediate figures, and agriculture’s 1980 and 2000 plateau is omitted. The response is also four words below the required minimum. Adding the missing comparisons and a little detail would make the coverage more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an opening overview is followed by separate paragraphs on manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture. Sequencing expressions such as “Looking at manufacturing first,” “Another thing that stands out,” and “Finally” help readers follow the report. The progression is generally logical, though the repeated introductory phrases make the linking somewhat mechanical. Some connections between the sectors could be more explicit, especially the fact that healthcare catches up with retail by 2020. The healthcare paragraph is also very brief compared with the others, so the information is not balanced. A more integrated comparison and a fuller account of healthcare would strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is clear and appropriate for describing trends, with phrases such as “rose to,” “fell to,” “increased steadily,” and “strong growth.” These choices communicate the data without ambiguity. However, the range is somewhat limited, and several expressions are broad or conversational, including “what I found interesting,” “Another thing that stands out,” and “went in the opposite direction.” More precise report language would give the response greater flexibility and a more consistently academic tone. You could also vary the repeated use of “jobs” and “increased” with terms such as “employment,” “climbed,” or “expanded,” while ensuring that alternatives accurately describe the figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and more developed structures, and most of the meaning is easy to follow. The contrast in “manufacturing started as the biggest sector, but its numbers decreased after 1980” is handled clearly, and the trend descriptions generally use appropriate past-tense forms. Some punctuation and sentence-boundary control needs attention: the manufacturing sentence ending “in 2020” has no full stop, and the retail sequence would be clearer with commas between each figure. The sentence “Healthcare also saw strong growth, rising from about 2 million to 16 million jobs” is grammatically sound but could specify the years to make the comparison complete. Greater control of punctuation and more varied complex structures would improve accuracy and range.

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