Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph chart represents the number of jobs in four sectors:manufacturing,retail,agriculture,and healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.

overall,In 1960 only 15 millions of manufacturing jobs are available but in 1980 the number of jobs goes upto 20 million and then plateau again which is the highest number between 1960 to 2020.Retail jobs are stable on 15 million since 2000 to 2020.In the healthcare department it rises up 15 million in 2020. the manufacturing and healthcare departments reamins same but in agriculture sector the numbers of jobs are very few thats why jobs are plummet.

In conclude,we can see that the number of jobs are drop in 2020 in the economy of US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising by 2020. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it does not clearly compare the sectors’ overall trends, and several details are inaccurate. Manufacturing falls after 1980 rather than plateauing; retail rises to about 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, rather than staying at 15 million; and healthcare reaches about 16 million, not 15 million. The claim that manufacturing and healthcare “remain same” is also unclear. The response is 36 words below the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to report and compare the main features. Add a clear overview and accurate trend comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence from an introduction to a summary of trends and a concluding statement, and the reader can identify the sectors being discussed. However, the response is presented as one paragraph, so the information is not clearly grouped into an introduction, overview and supporting details. Connections between ideas are often unclear: for example, “the manufacturing and healthcare departments reamins same but in agriculture…” does not explain the comparison, and the final sentence repeats a general conclusion without developing it. Linking words such as “but” and “then” are used, but they do not consistently show the relationships between the data. Use separate paragraphs and organise the body by contrasting rising sectors with declining ones.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” and “number of jobs,” so the subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and some word choices or combinations are inaccurate, making parts of the report difficult to interpret. “Plateau again” does not describe the manufacturing line, which declines after 1980, while “jobs are plummet” is not a natural way to describe a fall. “In the healthcare department” is also less suitable than language referring to the healthcare sector. Aim for precise trend verbs and standard collocations, such as “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “the number of jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to combine ideas using clauses, as in “but in 1980 the number of jobs goes upto 20 million and then…,” but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors occur frequently. Subject–verb agreement is incorrect in “the number of jobs are drop,” and “the numbers of jobs are very few” does not form a clear grammatical description. Tense is inconsistent when describing past data (“are available,” “goes,” and “rises”), and sentence boundaries and capitalisation are unreliable, as in “overall,In.” There are also errors in plural and article use. Practise writing clear past-tense sentences about each trend, then check agreement, punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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