Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line ghraph show the information about employment in four key sectors of american economy in time period of 1960 to 2020.

It is clearly seen from the graph, that manufacturing sector get around 20 millions jobs in usa between 1960 to 1980 and this number is so high rather than other three sectors.

Begain with retail area, retail market produced aroun 6 million jobs in year 1960. This number was significantly growed and after two decades that was reach 10 million employments in 1980 which showed major development in retail market.The figure was continusaly increased and reach the peak point of almost 16 to 17 million jobs in 2020. On the other hand, this amount was totally different in manufacturing zone. Because, production sector showed groth booster in year 1960 to 1080 with 20 million work oppoertunity but after that year the number was significantly dicresed and reach as lower as only 12 to 13 million in pandemic year 2020.

On the other side,the number healthcare sector was showed differences. In year 1960 healthcare contributed in US economy with only 4 million employment which was almost same for 1980. But after 1980, healthcare showed his power and created almost 11 million jobs which was double in compare to last 40 years. Furthermore, job availbilites are continuslly increased and stand at rose point of near 17 million in 2020. As we see from the graph,there are no much differnces in agriculture zone. The number of employment is almost same during this 60 years time zone around 4 to 5 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking around 1980 and then declining, and retail and healthcare rising over time. However, the overview is not clearly stated, and some figures or comparisons are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 4 million, and agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million rather than remaining broadly stable at 4–5 million. The claim that manufacturing had around 20 million jobs “between 1960 to 1980” also blurs the fact that it reached that level in 1980. These gaps make the summary only partly accurate and leave important features under-reported. Add a concise overview and check each sector’s starting point, endpoint, and overall direction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has some paragraphing and a generally understandable sequence: it discusses retail alongside manufacturing, then healthcare and agriculture. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships. However, the progression is not consistently clear because there is no distinct overview, and some transitions are awkward or repetitive, including repeated use of “On the other side.” Several sentences run together or contain unclear references, such as “this amount was totally different,” so the reader must infer which figure is meant. Organise the report into an introduction, a clear overview, and grouped detail paragraphs, and use precise references to sectors and figures rather than relying on broad linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “employment,” “sector,” “increased,” and “decreased,” and the reader can usually identify the intended trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less clear. For example, “retail market produced” and “showed groth booster” are not natural ways to describe job figures, while “pandemic year” adds an unsupported interpretation of 2020. Spelling errors such as “ghraph,” “continusaly,” and “availbilites” are also noticeable. Prefer precise, neutral language such as “the number of jobs rose” or “employment in manufacturing declined,” and proofread spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “Because” and “which,” but complex sentences are often not controlled accurately. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear throughout, for example “manufacturing sector get,” “this number was significantly growed,” and “healthcare contributed … which was almost same.” Articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “in year 1960” and the fragment beginning “Because, production sector…”. These frequent errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, subject–verb agreement, and complete sentence construction; then check articles and punctuation when editing.

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