Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four categories of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. It is clear that, the manufacturing experienced a dominant and upward trajectory. Agriculture witnessed a consistent decline . In 1960, the manufucturing was the highest proportion, representing for 15 million. In a meantime, the retail and agriculture was remained steadily, accounting for 5 million. The figure fo the heathcare had the smallest proportion, at just 3 million. By 1980, there was a significant increase in manufucturing and retail, representing for 20 million and 10 million respectively. The proportion of the agriculture decreased significantly, at just 3 million. In addition, the heathcare rose from 3 million to 5 million. Regarding the remaining years, the figure for the manufucturing fall from 20 million to 16 million. Moreover, there was a signifant rise in retail and heathcare , representing for 15 milllion. The agriculture remained unchanged in 2000. By 2020, the retail and agriculture remained steadily. The manufucturing was 13million and the heathcare rose from 11 milllion to 15 milllions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
To‘rtta sohani aniqlab, bir nechta muhim ko‘rsatkichlarni keltirgansiz, jumladan ishlab chiqarish 1980 yilda eng yuqori — 20 millionga yetgani va qishloq xo‘jaligi taxminan 3 milliongacha pasaygani. Biroq umumiy xulosa to‘liq aniq emas: ishlab chiqarish butun davr davomida o‘sib bormagan, chunki u 1980 yildan keyin pasaygan; chakana savdo va qishloq xo‘jaligi esa 1960 yilda ikkalasi ham barqaror bo‘lmagan. Keyingi davrlardagi ayrim taqqoslashlar ham to‘liq emas yoki noto‘g‘ri: 2020 yilga kelib chakana savdo va sog‘liqni saqlash ko‘rsatkichlari ikkalasi ham taxminan 16 million bo‘lgan, qishloq xo‘jaligi esa taxminan 2 milliongacha tushgan. Shu sababli javobda grafik faqat qisman yoritilgan, muhim tendensiyalar va taqqoslashlar esa ba’zan noaniq qolgan. Avval qisqa va aniq umumiy xulosa bering, so‘ng butun davrdagi asosiy o‘zgarishlarni bayon qiling.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
Javob asosan xronologik tartibda tuzilgan: 1960 yildan 1980 yilga, so‘ng keyingi yillarga o‘tiladi. Ma’lumotlarni bog‘lash uchun “By 1980” va “Moreover” kabi o‘tish iboralaridan foydalanilgansiz. Biroq tuzilma aniq va izchil rivojlanishni ta’minlamaydi: umumiy xulosa kirish qismiga qo‘shilib ketgan, oxirgi paragrafda esa 2000 va 2020 yillar izchil farqlanmasdan bir necha yil birga yoritilgan. Ayrim bog‘lovchi iboralar takroriy yoki noqulay, raqamlar o‘rtasidagi munosabat esa ba’zan noaniq — masalan, “representing for 15 million” iborasi bu ko‘rsatkich qaysi sohalarga tegishli ekanini ravshan bildirmaydi. Umumiy xulosa va tafsilotlar uchun alohida paragraflar yozing, taqqoslashlarni tushunish oson bo‘lishi uchun o‘zaro bog‘liq tendensiyalarni guruhlang.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
“trajectory,” “decline,” “significant increase” va “remained unchanged” kabi topshiriqqa mos so‘zlardan foydalanilgansiz; o‘quvchi, odatda, qaysi sohalar va tendensiyalarni tasvirlamoqchi ekaningizni tushuna oladi. Biroq “representing for” va “the figure” kabi iboralarning takrorlanishi lug‘at boyligini cheklaydi, ayrim so‘z birikmalari esa noto‘g‘ri yoki tabiiy eshitilmaydi. “manufucturing,” “heathcare” va “signifant” kabi imlo xatolari ham aniqlikni pasaytiradi. “highest proportion” kabi ayrim iboralar ish o‘rinlari sonini ko‘rsatuvchi grafik uchun mos emas. Tendensiyalarni ifodalovchi fe’llar va taqqoslash iboralarining aniqroq turlarini o‘rganing, imlo hamda so‘z birikmalarini diqqat bilan tekshiring.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
Sodda fikrlar bilan uzunroq gaplarni aralashtirib yozishga uringansiz, xronologik tartib esa javob tuzilishiga biroz xilma-xillik beradi. Biroq grammatik xatolar tez-tez uchraydi va ba’zan fikrlar o‘rtasidagi munosabatni tushunishni qiyinlashtiradi. “the manufacturing experienced,” “the retail and agriculture was remained” va “the figure for the manufacturing fall” kabi misollar artikllar, ega va kesim mosligi, majhul nisbat hamda zamon bilan bog‘liq muammolarni ko‘rsatadi. “decline .” misolidagi kabi tinish belgilari va bo‘sh joylardan foydalanish ham izchil emas; vergullar atrofida ortiqcha bo‘sh joylar bor. Murakkab ergash gaplarni qo‘shishdan oldin o‘tgan zamonda aniq taqqoslash gaplarini tuzishni mashq qiling va sodda gap qoliplaridan ishonchli foydalaning.
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