Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates information about the amount of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US between the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the largest increase in jobs was seen in retail jobs over the period, while manufacturing jobs fluctuated frequently. Agriculture and retail started at same point but results were quite opposite of each other.

Manufacturing jobs were leading is 1990 at 15 million jobs, it steadily inccrease till 1980 from there it showed an negative trend, falling to 13 million jobs by 2020. In 1960, agriculture jobs were just above 5 million, it fell down by half in 1980 and remained at level till 2000, while dropped very little by 2020 at 2 million jobs.

In 1960, healthcare jobs were at the bottom, from 1960 to 1980 in gradually grew to its double. From there, it skyrocketed reaching at top with retail jobs at above 15 million jobs. Retail jobs were at 6 million, it consistently grew to 15 million by 2000 and progress slowed down by 2020 reaching at 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing falls after reaching a peak. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture at 2 million in 2020. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. The overview says retail had the largest increase, but healthcare also rose substantially and finished level with retail at about 16 million; this important shared endpoint deserves emphasis. “Agriculture and retail started at same point” is accurate, but the claim that manufacturing was “leading in 1990 at 15 million” is incorrect: the chart gives 1960 and 1980, and manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980. More precise selection and reporting of the key comparisons would make the summary clearer and more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and separate paragraphs describing the sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several trends are compressed into long, loosely joined sentences. For example, the manufacturing and agriculture details are placed together, while the healthcare and retail paragraph shifts between series without a clear comparison. Linking phrases such as “from there” are repeated and do not always make the reference clear. Organise the body by contrasting related trends—for example, declining manufacturing and agriculture, then rising retail and healthcare—and use clearer sentence boundaries and references to improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “fluctuated,” “negative trend,” “consistently grew” and “remained at level,” which helps describe changes over time. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, however: “amount of jobs” is less suitable than “number of jobs,” and “manufacturing jobs were leading” does not clearly express that this sector had the highest figure. There are also spelling errors, including “inccrease,” and awkward combinations such as “reaching at top” and “progress slowed down.” These do not prevent the general meaning from being understood, but they reduce precision. Aim for accurate collocations such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “reached a peak,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and time expressions such as “from 1960 to 1980.” The main trends are generally understandable, but grammatical control is uneven. Some sentences join independent ideas with commas, as in “In 1960, agriculture jobs were just above 5 million, it fell down by half,” and “Retail jobs were at 6 million, it consistently grew.” There are also errors in verb forms and sentence construction, such as “it steadily inccrease” and “from 1960 to 1980 in gradually grew.” Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or incorrect, as in “at same point” and “reaching at top.” Use complete clauses, check tense consistency, and vary sentence structures while maintaining accuracy.

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