Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The following is a graph that gives the information about number of jobs in four sector of economy in US between 1960 to 2020.

The highest number was the Manufacturing, it was incline in 1960 to 1980 and then it slowly decline. where as, it include other different name such as Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. like wise, Healthcare and retail was mostly choosen number of jobs which are both in same line. overall, the less economy holding job is Agriculture and it had decline from 2000 to 2020. in conclusion, Manufacturing is the most choosen job in economy sector between 1960 to 2020 and it had played as a key role in jobs in millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and mention some broad trends, including manufacturing rising before declining and agriculture falling. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph: it gives no figures, omits key comparisons across the years, and incorrectly says manufacturing was the leading sector throughout. By 2020, retail and healthcare were both about 16 million jobs, above manufacturing at roughly 13 million. The claim that retail and healthcare were “both in same line” is not true for most of the period. The overview is also unclear, and the conclusion repeats an inaccurate claim. The response is 35 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to report the main features. Include a clear overview and several accurate comparisons with approximate values.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it introduces the graph, describes trends, and ends with a conclusion. Some linking expressions, such as “whereas,” “likewise,” and “in conclusion,” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several points are combined in one paragraph and the relationships between them are unclear. For example, “it include other different name” does not explain how the sectors relate to manufacturing, while the statement about healthcare and retail being on the same line interrupts the trend description. The conclusion repeats rather than synthesises the information. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and details, and connect comparisons explicitly by year and sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the topic and name the sectors, and you attempt some task-related language such as “decline,” “economy,” and “jobs in millions.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear. “The less economy holding job” and “most choosen job” do not naturally describe employment sectors, and “incline” is not the appropriate verb for an upward trend. Repetition of “job” and “number” also limits precision. Aim to use standard graph vocabulary and accurate sector descriptions, such as “employment,” “rose,” “fell,” and “accounted for.” Check spelling, including “chosen,” and avoid phrases whose meaning is difficult to infer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to join ideas using “and” and “whereas.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “The highest number was the Manufacturing,” “it was incline,” and “Healthcare and retail was,” which show problems with articles, verb forms, and subject–verb agreement. The opening also needs a more accurate structure: “the number of jobs in four sectors” and “from 1960 to 2020.” Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are inconsistent, as in “decline. where as”. Practise forming clear past-tense comparisons and checking agreement and punctuation; for example, “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, then fell.”

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