Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in this present time. Everyone doing jobs to survies. someone is rich and someone is poor no one is in same level so today we are talking about numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us 1960 to 2020

first one is mnufacturing in early 90s we see a hugh jumps in there income from 1960 t0 1980 after 1980 there downfalls start most of the manufactuing company bankcrupt and from this incident they never rise in 2020 their jobs also decrease

and second one is retail in 1960 they have only 5 millions job but they never give up they try hard day by day year by year they progress a lot from 1960 t0 2020 there downfalls never come in their entire life so proud towards them

third one agriculture this is only one profession who never been suciess althrough this occupation is the most needed jobs in human life they go down from 1960 to 2020 they never rise again

and the last one is healthcare in early 1960 pepole is uneaducated so this jobs cant perfrom well but year by year this jobs become more famous and popular from other jobs in 2020 this is the most important jobs in present time also and most earning jobs

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies all four sectors and gives a broad direction for each: manufacturing rises and then falls, retail and healthcare increase, and agriculture declines. However, it only minimally reports the graph’s information and includes unsupported explanations and opinions, such as companies going bankrupt, workers being uneducated, and healthcare being the highest-earning sector. Some comparisons are inaccurate or incomplete: manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, while retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020. An overview should clearly highlight these key patterns and the changing rankings, using accurate figures and avoiding claims the graph cannot show.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response is divided into an introduction and separate sections for the four sectors, so the reader can identify which series is being discussed. It also uses basic sequencing phrases such as “first one,” “second one,” and “the last one.” However, the ideas within paragraphs often move from data to personal commentary, which weakens the progression—for example, the retail description shifts to “so proud towards them.” There is no clear overview, and the repeated sector-by-sector formula makes the response feel like a list rather than a connected summary. Organise the report around an overview followed by grouped comparisons, and use linking language to show contrasts and changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The writer uses a basic set of words related to trends, including “jumps,” “decrease,” “go down,” and “progress,” and the sector names make the subject generally recognisable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often informal or imprecise for an academic graph report. Phrases such as “never give up,” “so proud towards them,” and “most important jobs” express opinions rather than describe data. Frequent spelling errors, including “mnufacturing,” “hugh,” “bankcrupt,” and “suciess,” also make the text harder to read. Build a more accurate range of trend language and use neutral terms such as “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “reached a peak.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes over time and uses some longer sentences, but grammatical control is weak and sentence structures are mostly simple or joined without reliable punctuation. Examples include “in 1960 they have only 5 millions job” and “this jobs become more famous,” where tense, number agreement, and sentence construction are faulty. The opening also contains fragments, such as “Everyone doing jobs to survies.” These errors recur and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, use past tense consistently for the historical data, and check singular/plural agreement and punctuation when joining clauses.

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