Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the United State economey between 1960 and 2020.

overall, manufacturing had largest employer in 1960 but declined after 1980,while healthcare showed dramatic rise and became the largest sector in 2020 . Retail also grew,whereas agriculture declined steadily.

In 1960,manufacturing had 15 million jobs,rising to the peak of 20million in 1980,after that it fell gradually to about 30 million in 2020.Agriculture started at 6 million in 1960 but dropped to 3 million in 1980 and further about to 2 million in 2020.

In contrast ,healthcare and retail grew.Retail grew 5million in 1960 to 10million in in1980 and peaked to15 milion in 2000 ,ending at 14 million in 2020.Healthcare was the smallest in 1960 with only about 2 million jobs but rise sharply to 5 million in 1980 ,11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, overtacking all other sectors of the United State economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, healthcare rises sharply, retail grows, and agriculture declines. The overview also correctly notes healthcare’s leading position in 2020. However, a key figure is seriously misreported: manufacturing falls to about 13 million in 2020, not 30 million. Retail ends at about 16 million, rather than 14 million, and its 1960 figure is 6 million, not 5 million. These inaccuracies weaken the report of the data, although the main trends are generally relevant. The response is also three words below the 150-word minimum; the nine words copied from the task prompt are excluded from the count. Add accurate detail and a little more development to meet the requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the declining sectors and the growing sectors. This makes the main comparisons easy to follow, and transitions such as “In contrast” help signal the shift between trends. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, and punctuation spacing makes the progression less smooth—for example, “In contrast ,healthcare” and “Retail grew 5million … and … peaked to15.” The final sentence also combines several figures and the concluding comparison in a crowded structure. Use cleaner sentence boundaries and consistent punctuation, and make sure each comparison follows a clear sequence through the years.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “peak,” “declined,” “dramatic rise,” and “smallest,” which helps describe changes and rankings. There is some variety in how trends are expressed, but inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations reduce precision: “economey,” “milion,” and “overtacking” are errors, while “Retail grew 5million” should be phrased as “retail employment rose from 6 million.” “Largest employer” is understandable, though “largest sector by number of jobs” is more exact for this graph. Aim for accurate spelling and natural collocations, especially when describing values and changes; this will make the report clearer without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex structures, including contrast and time clauses: “but declined after 1980” and “after that it fell.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and punctuation occur in several places. For example, the opening overview begins with lowercase “overall,” and the manufacturing sentence joins a sequence of clauses with commas, making its structure difficult to follow. In “Retail grew 5million … and in in1980,” the preposition and repeated wording disrupt the grammatical pattern. There are also missing spaces after commas and inconsistent sentence punctuation. Practise forming accurate “rose from … to …” and “fell to …” structures, and proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation.

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