Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates how many people were employed in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, emplyoment in retail and healthcare rose considerably, and both reached above 15 million jobs by 2020, whereas agriculture declined throughout the period. Manufacturing grew until 1980 but then fell, ending below retail and healthcare.

In 1960, retail employed around 6 miilion people, and this figure rose steadily to about 10 million jobs in 1980 and 14 million in 2000, before levelling off to roughly 15 million in 2020. Healthcare started from a much lower base at about 3 million jobs, but it grews faster, reaching at about 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000. By 2020, healthcare had caught up with retail, and both sectors provided 15 million jobs.

Manufacturing employed about 15 million people in 1960, this rose to a peak of approximately 20 million in 1980, but it then steadily dropped to roughly 12 million by 2020. In contrast, agriculture was always the smallest sector after 1960, and its workforce fell about 6 million to 4 around million in 1980, before dropped to only about 2 million in 2020. As a result, manufacturing was the largest sector once, ended up below both retail and healthcare, while agriculture became almost significant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You provide a clear overview of the main movements: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The key comparisons are also supported with figures, including manufacturing’s rise to about 20 million and the two growing sectors reaching roughly 15 million by 2020. Most reported trends match the chart. However, some details are inaccurate: retail is about 15 million in 2000, not 14, and agriculture is about 3 million in 1980, not 4. The claim that agriculture was “always the smallest sector after 1960” is also imprecise, since it was level with retail in 1960. Overall, the task is addressed with relevant, well-selected features, though a few figures and generalisations could be more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised effectively into an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, with the sectors grouped in a way that makes the trends easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “As a result” help signal relationships between points. This gives the report a coherent progression. Some cohesion is less controlled, however: the final sentence combines several comparisons and ends with an unclear conclusion, while “this figure” and “both sectors” could be used more precisely to avoid ambiguity. The sequence within the agriculture description is also awkward (“before dropped”). To strengthen the organisation further, keep each sentence focused on one comparison and ensure concluding references clearly identify the sector or trend being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-appropriate vocabulary, including “employed,” “rose considerably,” “peak,” “declined,” and “caught up,” which helps describe changes and comparisons. Some less common phrasing is attempted, but word choice and collocation are not always accurate. “Agriculture became almost significant” does not express the likely intended idea; “became almost negligible” or “remained the smallest sector” would be clearer. “Manufacturing was the largest sector once” is also unnatural, and “levelling off” does not accurately describe retail’s continued rise from 2000 to 2020. There are several spelling slips, including “emplyoment,” “miilion,” and “grews.” More precise trend vocabulary and careful proofreading would improve clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and “but,” and most of the information remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, particularly in longer sentences. In “Manufacturing employed about 15 million people in 1960, this rose…,” two independent clauses are joined with a comma; use a full stop or “and.” The phrase “reaching at about 5 million” has an unnecessary preposition, and “before dropped” needs a participle (“before dropping”). In “its workforce fell about 6 million to 4 around million,” the comparison structure is unclear and the word order is faulty. The final sentence also lacks a clear grammatical relationship between its clauses. Review clause boundaries, verb forms after “before,” and sentence structure in comparisons.

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