Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph below indicates the changes in the number of jobs across different sectors of United States economy from the period 1960 until 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing industry represented the greatest share for most years, followed by a slight fall below the initial number. Retail and Healthcare sectors grew significantly over the period and capturing the largest market share. The Agriculture jobs were declined considerably to its lowest figure.

In 1960, Manufacturing jobs accounted for the highest number of jobs in the US economy, it peaked around 20 million in 1980, after that the numbers declined and went down to its lowest number in 2020. There was another sector Agriculture who had the joint 2nd highest market share in 1960, which dropped considerably in 1980, the numbers stayed the same until 2000, later saw another fall to halved of the initial jobs in 2020.

Healthcare represented the lowest figure compared to other sectors, although the number of jobs were almost doubled in every cycle. Similar pattern can be seen in Retail, in 1960, it contributed around 6 million jobs in the industry which was increased significantly by almost 3 times in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The overview also notes that manufacturing leads for much of the period and that healthcare and retail become the largest sectors by the end. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980, but its lowest point is not specified as a comparison with earlier years; it ends at about 13 million. Healthcare does not “almost double in every cycle”: it rises from about 2 to 5, then 11, and finally 16 million. Retail reaches about 16 million, not three times its initial figure (which would be 18). More precise comparisons and accurate endpoint descriptions would make the key features better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. The broad progression from the overview to sector-specific information is easy to follow, and phrases such as “after that” and “Similar pattern” help connect ideas. However, the grouping of sectors is not always effective: agriculture is discussed with manufacturing, while retail and healthcare are compared only briefly at the end, leaving their contrasting trajectories underdeveloped. Some references are also vague, such as “the numbers” and “every cycle,” so readers must infer which sector or period is meant. Organise the details around clearer comparisons—for example, declining agriculture versus rising healthcare—and use more precise referencing to strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaked,” “declined,” “dropped considerably” and “grew significantly.” These choices make the general direction of change clear, and the response attempts more formal expressions such as “accounted for” and “represented.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise, however. “Capturing the largest market share” is not a natural description of job numbers, and “lowest number” is repeated where “lowest level” or “fell to about 13 million” would be clearer. “Almost 3 times” also gives an inaccurate comparison for retail. Prefer precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “rose to just under three times its initial level” only when the figures support that claim.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including the overview’s contrast between sectors and the sentence beginning “although the number of jobs…”. Meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement and punctuation remain. For example, “Manufacturing jobs accounted for the highest number of jobs in the US economy, it peaked…” joins two independent clauses with only a comma; use a full stop or “and.” In “the numbers were declined” and “which was increased,” the passive forms are incorrect for these trends; write “the number declined” and “which increased.” There are also agreement and article issues in “the number of jobs were” and “There was another sector Agriculture.” More consistently controlled clauses and sentence boundaries would improve accuracy.

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