Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the trend in number of jobs in four sector (Manufacutring, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs (in millions) was increased in Healthcare and Retail but it was moderately fluctuating for Manufacturing sector. However, Agriculture had experienced decrease in the number of jobs.

Begin with the Manufacturing sector, it started from 15 million jobs which was highest in 1960 compared with others then went to its peak at around 20 million in 1980. After that, the numbers got steadily decreased to around 13 million in the last year. On the other hand, Agriculture stood at around 6 million jobs in 1960 which then significantly fall to around 3 million in 1980 and this number slightly decreased to 2 million for remaining period.

Turing to the Retail, it was accounted for 6 million jobs in 1960 which then dramatically increased till 2000 at 15 million jobs before rate of increase slow down and finished up with around 16 million jobs in 2020. Additionally, Healthcare had accounted for 2 million jobs which was lowest in 1960 then dramatically increased throughout the period and ended up with highest jobs in 2020 of around 16.5 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses the task with a clear overview: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing fluctuates. It also selects relevant comparisons, including manufacturing’s early lead and healthcare’s position as the lowest sector in 1960 before reaching the highest level by 2020. Most figures and trends match the graph. The main imprecision is the final healthcare figure, given as 16.5 million rather than approximately 16 million; this is a small discrepancy, and the overall comparison remains accurate. The account is well supported with data across the period, though the overview could be more precise by noting that retail and healthcare finish at roughly the same level, rather than implying healthcare alone is highest.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The information is arranged in a clear sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by details about manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This grouping makes the main trends easy to follow, and phrases such as “After that” and “On the other hand” help signal changes and contrasts. The organisation is coherent, but some linking is mechanical or awkward. “Begin with the Manufacturing sector” and “Turing to the Retail” function as signposts rather than smoothly connecting the comparisons, and the latter also interrupts the otherwise clear progression. To strengthen cohesion, use more natural transitions and make comparisons between sectors explicit within the same paragraph, especially where retail and healthcare converge by 2020.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses enough topic vocabulary to describe the graph, including “peak,” “dramatically increased,” “fluctuating,” and “remaining period.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “the trend in number of jobs,” “the numbers got steadily decreased,” and “it was accounted for” do not express the intended meanings naturally. There are also spelling errors in “Manufacutring” and “Turing,” and “rate of increase slow down” is not well formed as a phrase. Aim for accurate, conventional language such as “the number of jobs,” “declined steadily,” and “stood at.” This will make the description clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the reader can follow the comparisons and time changes. Some sentences use subordination effectively, for example, “which then dramatically increased throughout the period.” However, grammatical errors remain in several structures. “The number of jobs … was increased” uses an incorrect passive form; “Agriculture had experienced decrease” is missing an article and has an unsuitable tense; and “this number slightly decreased to 2 million for remaining period” needs an article. The clause beginning “Begin with the Manufacturing sector” is also not a complete, well-formed sentence. Review verb forms, articles, and sentence openings, while retaining the range of structures already attempted.

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