Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrated about the work opportunities in four sectors of the economy in America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the healthcare department rose dramatically along with retail sector which rose gradually over the period of time,

whereas manufacturing sector in US grew steadily then experienced a sudden fall until the end, however the agricultural department faced continuous fall respectively.

In the beginning, healthcare sector experienced a steady rise from 2 millions in 1960 to 10 millions in 2000 and reached it highest rise around 16 million in 2020, moreover retail area encountered steady rise from around 6 millions in 1960 to 15 millions in 2000 and ended up at around 16 millions in 2020 in contrast to other sectors.

However, manufacturing sector experienced a steep rise of 5 millions until 1980 then gradually decreased to around 13 millions throughout the period, on the other hand agricultural sector encountered consistent decline from the very start upto the 2020.

Comparatively these two sectors faced continuous decline in terms of health and retail sector in US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad trends: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks before declining, and agriculture falls. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and retail at about 15 million in 2000. However, the overview is not fully reliable: manufacturing did not grow steadily before a sudden fall, but rose to 1980 and then declined over two decades. Healthcare reached about 11 million in 2000, rather than 10 million, and agriculture’s figures are not given, so its decline is only broadly described. The final comparison is especially unclear and contradicts the data by suggesting retail faced continuous decline. A more precise overview and accurate comparisons between the four sectors would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the rising and declining sectors. This gives the reader some organisation. However, progression is weakened by long sentences that combine several trends, and by connectors that do not always express the intended relationship. For example, “moreover” joins healthcare and retail figures without a clear comparison, while “however” and “on the other hand” are repeated in ways that make the paragraph feel mechanical. The final sentence is difficult to follow and conflicts with the preceding account. Use separate sentences for each sector or group, and organise the details consistently—for example, rising sectors first, then declining ones—with clear, accurate linking.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, including “rose dramatically,” “steady rise,” “decline,” and “steep rise.” These choices generally communicate the graph’s main movements, and the response attempts some variation rather than relying only on “increase” and “decrease.” At times, however, word choice or collocation is imprecise: “work opportunities” is less suitable than a direct reference to jobs, “department” and “area” are awkward labels for economic sectors, and “highest rise” does not naturally describe a final value. “Continuous fall respectively” and “faced continuous decline in terms of health and retail” are also unclear. Prefer precise, consistent terms such as “sector,” “number of jobs,” “rose,” and “fell.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “whereas,” “however,” and “on the other hand.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors remain. Examples include “2 millions” and “6 millions,” where the unit should be singular, and “reached it highest rise,” which has an incorrect possessive and sentence construction. The overview sentence also joins several clauses with commas, creating a run-on structure, and the final sentence lacks a clear grammatical relationship between its ideas. Use shorter sentences where several trends are being compared, check articles and possessives, and make sure each clause has a clear subject and verb. These changes would improve accuracy while retaining your complex structures.

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