Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph below givescomparisom information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

We can indicate some comparison through out this grap analysis in manufacture, retail, agriculture and healthcare. As we go with the healthcare indrustries we can see some drastic early change in the flow. In 1960 the sector was very light. Time to time it has increased 5% in 1980. After 1980 a big change were visable in the grap which was 12% and finally it has became 15% in 2020.

Now, if we talk about the agriculture indrustires it's totally opposite from the other indrustries. Drastice decresed were seen in the overall development. From 1960 to 2020 it has decreased 3%.

Retail sector has a continued growth over the year. It has stared from 5% when the time was 1960 but in 2020 it has become 15%.

Lastly, we will talk about the biggest indrusty in the world which was manufactural indrustry. Drastic growth and decrease both are visable in the grap . It stared to decrease by the time of 1980 to 2020 but over the year it has a great increase number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and describe several broad trends, including healthcare and retail rising and agriculture declining. However, the account is only partially accurate and key comparisons are missing. Healthcare rises from about 2 million jobs in 1960 to 16 million in 2020, not from “very light” to 15%: the graph measures jobs in millions, not percentages. Retail ends at about 16 million, while manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million; your final sentence instead says it had a “great increase” without explaining this pattern. Agriculture falls by about 4 million, from 6 to 2. Include a clear overview of the main changes and report figures consistently in millions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has separate paragraphs for the sectors, and signposts such as “Now,” “Lastly,” and “In 1960” help readers recognise the topic of each section. However, the organisation is mainly a sequence of sector-by-sector comments rather than a clear progression that compares the most important trends. The opening paragraph does not provide a useful overview, and the manufacturing paragraph ends with a vague statement that conflicts with its earlier description of decline. Some linking phrases, such as “As we go with” and “Time to time,” are difficult to follow. Grouping the rising sectors together, then contrasting them with agriculture and manufacturing, and using clearer links between dates would make the information easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary to describe change, including “drastic,” “continued growth,” and “decreased,” and the reader can generally identify which sector you mean. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “very light,” “drastic decreased,” and “great increase number.” Repeated use of “industry” and “change” also makes the report imprecise. There are frequent spelling errors, including “comparisom,” “indrustries,” “visable,” and “stared,” which distract from the data. Use standard trend language such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “remained stable,” and describe the figures as numbers of jobs in millions rather than percentages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, for example, “It started to decrease by the time of 1980 to 2020,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently: “a big change were visable” should use a singular verb, while “it has became” has an incorrect verb form. The phrase “From 1960 to 2020 it has decreased 3%” also needs a clearer grammatical structure and an appropriate unit. Several sentences rely on similar basic patterns, limiting the range. Practise accurate past-tense descriptions of completed periods and build comparisons with controlled clauses, such as “Manufacturing peaked in 1980 before declining.”

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