Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

it is the bar graph to show the ups and downs in us jobs in different eras such as health care agriculture retail and industry. according to the shown bar graph they agriculture and health care field's made highest jobs uppertunities because in these decades thehealth and production departments grwn up .On the others hand the overall scores in job preparation was low online two fields gave the most jobs .Us made efficient progress to groom up their strategies to develope there highest levels economy directly rely on the growth of vital departments. The more efficiently a department works the more job upperchunities emerges . The people work more effectively the department work effectively.The retail and health jobs rise up because there was need much of these services .so the overall bar graph shows that the retail and health hade higher jobs upperchunitise and other was also like wise gradually lesser

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response recognises that the graph concerns four US employment sectors and mentions some broad trends, especially growth in healthcare and retail. However, it does not accurately summarise the main features: it says agriculture and healthcare created the highest number of jobs, although agriculture is the smallest sector by 2020 and declines overall. It also gives no reliable figures or clear comparisons across the years, and claims about economic strategies and why services grew are not shown by the graph. To make the report more relevant, state an overview grounded in the data—for example, manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, while retail and healthcare rise; agriculture declines throughout. Support this with selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to connect ideas using phrases such as “On the others hand,” “because,” and “so,” and the response broadly stays on the topic of employment sectors. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear report structure: the opening, overview, and supporting details are not separated, and several claims repeat the same point about healthcare and retail rising. References such as “these decades,” “other was also,” and “the overall scores” are unclear, making it difficult to follow the comparisons. Organise the response into a brief introduction, a clear overview, and paragraphs comparing the sector trends. Use linking words only where they show a precise relationship between data points.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “jobs,” “departments,” “growth,” “services,” and “economy,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, vocabulary is often imprecise or repetitive, and several expressions are not suitable for describing a graph: “job preparation,” “overall scores,” and “groom up their strategies” do not communicate clear data trends. Spelling errors such as “uppertunities,” “grwn,” and “upperchunitise” also reduce clarity. Use standard terms for employment and change, such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable.” Avoid explanations about causes unless the graph provides evidence for them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect construction with “because” and a comparison introduced by “On the others hand.” However, sentence boundaries and grammatical relationships are frequently unclear. For example, “according to the shown bar graph they agriculture and health care field's made highest jobs” lacks a clear subject structure, while “The people work more effectively the department work effectively” joins clauses without a grammatical link. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and verb forms, as in “the retail and health hade higher jobs.” Build shorter, complete sentences first, then add accurate comparisons using forms such as “Healthcare employment rose from… to…” and “Agriculture declined…”.

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