Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the United state economy between 1960 and 2020.

overall,Manufacturing was the largest employer in 1960 but after that ,1n 1980 it declined,while healthcare shows the dramatic rise and become the largest sector in 2020.Retail also grew,whereas agriculture declined steadily .

In 1960,manufacturing had 15 million jobs ,rising to the peak of 20 million in 1980 ,but after that ,it falls gradually to about 13 million in 2020. Agriculture started at 6 million in 1960 but dropped to around 3 million in 1980 and further dropped to about 2 million in 2020.

Incontrast to healthcare and retail increased. Retail grew from 6 million to healthcare was the smallest in 1960 withonly 2 million jobs but rise sharply to 5 million in 1980 and 11million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020 overtaking all other sectors

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, healthcare rises sharply, retail grows, and agriculture falls. Several figures are accurately reported, including manufacturing’s 15-to-20-million rise and healthcare’s increase from 2 to 16 million. However, the retail description is unfinished (“Retail grew from 6 million to”), so its later growth and final comparison are not clearly reported. The overview also says manufacturing declined after 1980, but it first rose to its peak then. The response contains 137 words, below the required 150, which limits the detail and completeness of the summary. To strengthen the response, complete the retail trend and compare the two leading sectors in 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and agriculture, then healthcare and retail. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression becomes difficult to follow in the final paragraph: “Incontrast to healthcare and retail increased” is unclear, and the retail sentence breaks off before the healthcare figures are introduced. Linking words such as “whereas” and “but” are relevant, though spacing and punctuation problems make the connections less effective. Use separate, clearly focused paragraphs for the overview and the main comparisons, and ensure each sentence develops one complete point. Clearer transitions would help the reader follow the trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing graphs, including “largest employer,” “peak,” “declined,” “grew,” and “overtaking.” These choices communicate several important trends and show some range beyond basic repetition. However, some expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “shows the dramatic rise,” “Incontrast to,” and “Retail grew from 6 million to healthcare,” which makes the final comparison hard to understand. There are also spelling and spacing slips, including “United state,” “withonly,” and “11million.” Aim for precise collocations and check compound words and spacing. For example, describe a sector as “experienced a sharp rise” and use “by contrast” to introduce a comparison.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrasts with “but” and “whereas,” and the main trends can often be understood. However, errors are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “In 1960, manufacturing had 15 million jobs, rising to the peak…” has an unclear participle construction, while “Retail grew from 6 million to healthcare was…” joins incompatible clauses. Verb forms are also inconsistent: “healthcare shows … and become” and “agriculture declined” sit alongside “it falls.” Capitalisation and punctuation are unreliable, particularly at sentence openings and around commas. Build complete clauses with consistent past-tense verbs, and check that each sentence has a clear subject and main verb.

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