Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of employments created by four different sectors (Magnufacturing, Retail, Healthcare, Agriculture) in the US economy over a period of four decade ([redacted phone]).

Overall, magnufacturing industry started with the lead in comparison to others and healthcare was contributing with less number of jobs in early days but it caught up with other sectors after forty years.

If we look at the graph, magnufacturing sector contributed with 15 million jobs in 1960 and followed a upward trend till 1980 with 20 million employees. After 1980 we see gradual decline over the years with around 13 million jobs produced in 2020 falling behind it's starting point. On the other hand, retail sector started with 5 million jobs in 1960 and experienced rapid growth until 2000 with 15 million jobs and gained almost 1 million over next twenty years.

Furthermore, agriculture sector had a big decline from 5 million jobs in 1960 to 1980 and then followed a stable number of jobs across next four decades with 2 million jobs. Healthcare contributed most in economy producing almost 16 million jobs in 2020 with constant upward trend starting from 2 million jobs in 1960

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing leads initially, while healthcare rises substantially and reaches the joint-highest level by 2020. The response also reports several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s 16 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail is about 6 million, not 5 million, in 1960, and agriculture falls to around 3 million by 1980 before declining to 2 million in 2020; it does not remain stable across the following four decades. The overview’s claim that healthcare caught up “after forty years” is also imprecise. Covering the key trends more accurately and comparing the sectors at the end would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sector trends. Sequencing phrases such as “After 1980,” “On the other hand,” and “Furthermore” help guide the reader through the data. However, the final paragraph combines agriculture and healthcare without a clear transition between their contrasting patterns, and the overview’s “after forty years” does not specify the comparison clearly. Some linking is also formulaic, particularly the repeated use of “If we look at the graph” and “Furthermore.” Organise the body paragraphs around clearer comparisons—for example, declining manufacturing and agriculture versus growing retail and healthcare—and use references that make each comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “gradual decline,” “rapid growth,” and “caught up.” These choices make the main movements understandable. Some word choices and collocations are less natural or imprecise, however: “number of employments created,” “contributing with less number of jobs,” and “jobs produced” do not describe the chart as naturally as “number of jobs” or “employment in the sector.” “Big decline” is also informal for an academic summary. There are spelling errors in “Magnufacturing” and “magnufacturing,” and “four decade” should be plural. Aim for consistent, precise terms such as “employment,” “job numbers,” and “rose/fell to,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response includes both simple and more complex sentence forms, such as “After 1980 we see gradual decline over the years with around 13 million jobs produced in 2020 falling behind it's starting point.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. Examples include “over a period of four decade” (plural agreement), “followed a upward trend” (article choice), and “agriculture sector had a big decline from 5 million jobs in 1960 to 1980,” where the comparison structure is incomplete. The final sentence also lacks a full stop. Improve control of articles, plurals, and comparison patterns, and punctuate each sentence consistently. More accurate complex sentences would help you express changes and comparisons without making the reader infer the intended relationship.

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