Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This line graph shows the fluctuations about the number of jobs between four sectors of economy in US from 1980 to 2020, measured jobs in millions.

Overall, a significant rose in some sectors of economy where two reached on peak and the other was on gradually declined position.

First of all, healthcare sector 2 millions jobs was slightly increased from 1960 to 1980. This was followed by significant increase in jobs from 5 million to approximately 11 million i n 1980 to 2000. Morever, a number of jobs leapt and reached on peak 11 million to 15.1 approximately from 2000to 2020.

In contrast to Health care, agriculture sectors jobs had slightly fallen from 5 million to 2 million in a year 1980. in addition to, a straight line shows there is constant decline from year 1980 to 2000. then it again decreased to 1 million from 2000 to 2020.

on the other hand, retail jobs sector of economy, number of jobs decreased continuously from 16 million to lowest 1 million, over the all years.

on the last, in manufacturing sectors, first the number reached on top 20 million, then it rapidly decreased from 20 million to 13 million. without any increased in its number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to describe all four sectors and includes an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. The overview says that two sectors “reached on peak” and another declined, without identifying the key comparison: manufacturing peaked in 1980 and then fell, while retail and healthcare rose, with both reaching about 16 million by 2020. Several figures and trends are misread: retail is described as falling from 16 million to 1 million, although it rises from about 6 to 16 million; agriculture falls from about 6 to 2 million, not from 5 to 1; and healthcare ends at about 16 million, not 15.1. The opening also omits 1960. Select the major trends accurately and support the overview with correct comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation: the response begins with an introduction and overview, then uses separate sections to discuss healthcare, agriculture, retail and manufacturing. Sequencing phrases such as “In contrast” and “on the other hand” show an attempt to connect comparisons. However, progression is weakened by inaccurate or unclear links, and the sector-by-sector account does not consistently guide the reader through the years. For example, “This was followed by” and “in addition to” do not clearly express the relationships between the data points, while the retail paragraph contradicts the graph and the preceding comparisons. Use a clear overview followed by grouped trends, and make each linking phrase accurately signal contrast, continuation or change.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “fluctuations,” “significant increase,” “constant decline” and “reached on peak,” and it attempts to vary descriptions of change with “leapt” and “decreased.” However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate, making parts difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “a significant rose,” “declined position,” “reached on peak” and “without any increased” are not natural ways to describe graph trends. Spelling and spacing errors, including “Morever” and “2000to,” also reduce control. Build a reliable set of trend expressions and use them precisely—for example, “rose significantly,” “peaked at,” “declined steadily” and “remained unchanged.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few longer structures, such as “This was followed by significant increase in jobs…” and “In contrast to Health care…,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and attempts at more complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in articles, plurals, agreement and sentence construction occur frequently: “2 millions jobs was slightly increased,” “agriculture sectors jobs,” and “the number reached on top” are examples. Tense and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the lower-case sentence openings “in addition to” and “then it again decreased.” These errors sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. Practise accurate simple past-tense sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while,” “whereas” and “after.”

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