Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph shows the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the United States economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employer in 1960 but it declined after 1980, while healthcare shows a dramatic rise and became the largest sector in 2020.Retail also grew, where as agriculture declined steadily.

In 1960,manufacturing had 15 million jobs , rising to the peak of 20 million in 1980 . After that it fell gradually to about 13million in 2020 . Agriculture started at 6million in 1960 but dropped to 3million in 1980 and further to about 2 million in 2020.

In contrast,healthcare and retail increased. Retail grew from 6 millionin 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and peaked at 15 million in 2000 , ending at the 14 million in 2020.

Healthcare was smallest in 1960 with 2 million jobs only but rose sharply to 5million in 1980,11million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020 ,overtaking all other sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response gives a clear overview of the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, healthcare rises sharply to become joint-highest in 2020, and agriculture falls. It also supports these points with figures across the period, so the key features are selected and reported accurately overall. One detail needs correction: retail ends at about 16 million, not 14 million, in 2020; it does not finish below healthcare. The overview’s claim that manufacturing was the largest employer in 1960 is accurate, and the account of agriculture is appropriately concise. To strengthen the response further, check endpoint values carefully and make the final comparison explicit: retail and healthcare both reach approximately 16 million jobs in 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised in a clear sequence: an introduction, an overview, and then paragraphs describing the declining sectors and the rising sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “After that,” and “In contrast” help signal relationships. This is a coherent overall arrangement, though cohesion is not always smooth. The overview’s “Retail also grew, where as agriculture declined” is understandable but the contrast is slightly mechanical, and the final paragraph could connect the two rising series more clearly. Improve progression by grouping comparisons around shared turning points or endpoints, and use punctuation and spacing consistently so the links between sentences are easier to read.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for describing a line graph, with useful trend language such as “peak,” “declined,” “dropped,” “rose sharply,” and “overtaking.” These choices communicate the broad movements clearly, and the response avoids excessive repetition of basic verbs. However, some phrasing is imprecise or less natural: “numbers of jobs” would be better expressed as “number of jobs” or “employment,” while “ending at the 14 million” is awkward and the figure is inaccurate. “Healthcare shows a dramatic rise” also shifts tense compared with the surrounding past-tense description. Aim for more precise collocations and consistent terminology, especially when describing final values and comparing sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and more complex forms, including contrast clauses (“while healthcare…”) and a sequence of past-tense trend descriptions. Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors are present. For example, “where as” should be written as “whereas,” and “Healthcare was smallest in 1960” needs an article (“the smallest”). There are also inconsistent spaces around commas and full stops, as in “2020.Retail” and “1960,manufacturing,” which interrupt the presentation. Tense control is not fully consistent in “healthcare shows a dramatic rise” within a past-period report. Proofread articles, tense consistency, and sentence punctuation while retaining the useful range of sentence structures.

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