Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the total number of jobs were posted in different sectors of the economy in the united states among 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that there were four type of jobs in different decades but the majority of jobs presented into the manufacturing and the least number of jobs were into the agriculture field.
Firstly, it is no doubt that the manufacturing field was the highest number of jobs between in two decades and after 1980 it was dropping gradually by the end of 2020. Moreover, the healthcare sector was
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response identifies the chart’s subject and attempts an overview, noting manufacturing as a major sector and agriculture as the smallest. However, the overview is inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing was not the largest throughout the period, since retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million jobs by 2020, compared with roughly 13 million in manufacturing. The report also gives almost no usable detail about the four trends; the final sentence stops after “the healthcare sector was,” leaving a key comparison unfinished. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, so it cannot provide the selection and reporting of main features expected. Include a complete overview and compare the main rises and falls with supporting figures.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then a detail paragraph, with “Overall,” “Firstly,” and “Moreover” used to signal stages. This gives the reader some sense of structure. However, progression is limited because the detail paragraph ends abruptly at “the healthcare sector was,” and the other sectors are not developed. The overview’s claim about the majority of jobs is also difficult to interpret, weakening the connection between the paragraphs. To improve, use a clear overview followed by logically grouped comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare—and ensure each paragraph is complete. Use linking expressions to show meaningful comparisons rather than simply introducing another point.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sectors,” “manufacturing,” “healthcare,” and “agriculture,” so the subject is generally recognisable. There is also an attempt to describe change with “dropping gradually.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “jobs were posted,” “majority of jobs presented into,” and “the highest number of jobs.” “Posted” suggests job advertisements rather than employment totals, while “presented into” does not clearly express the data. The phrase “four type of jobs” is also inaccurate for describing sectors. Use precise reporting language such as “the number of people employed,” “employment in the sector,” and “rose/fell to.” Check capitalization of “United States” and spelling throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts a few sentence forms, including an overview introduced by “Overall” and a longer sentence beginning “Firstly, it is no doubt that…”. However, control is inconsistent. The opening has a faulty structure in “the total number of jobs were posted,” where the subject and verb do not fit together. In “there were four type of jobs,” the plural noun form is missing, and “between in two decades” contains an incorrect preposition pattern. The sentence about manufacturing also combines several ideas awkwardly, making the time relationship difficult to follow. The final clause is incomplete, ending with “the healthcare sector was.” Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then add subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions, and sentence completion.
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