Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the given Graph, we can see that, the number of jobs available in Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare are 15, 6, 6 and 2 million respectively. From 1960 to 1980 we can see a linear increase in job market for the manufacturing, retail and healthcare whereas in the agriculture sector, job opportunites declined linearly from 6 million to 2 million. As we move forward the next year that is 2000, we notice that number of jobs in retail and healthcare still increases linearly whereas for the manufacturing sector, it declined and went down from 20 million to 16 million approximately, the agriculture sector consistently remain at 2 million from 1980 to 2000. Next, we see again a linear growth in the healthcare and retail sector climbing the ladder from 11 million, 15 million to approximately 16 million. At the year 2020, we see the decline in job opportunities for the manufacturing sector from 16 million to 14 million also number of job opportunities reduced in the agriculture sector from 2000 to 2020, which can be a concern for the farmers out there.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant trends, including growth in retail and healthcare and a decline in manufacturing after 1980. However, the response does not provide a clear overall summary of the main features, and some figures or periods are inaccurate. Agriculture fell from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980, not 2 million, and remained at about 3 million until 2000; it then declined to 2 million by 2020. Manufacturing was about 17 million in 2000, rather than 16 million, and around 13 million in 2020, rather than 14 million. The account also repeats year-by-year changes without highlighting the key comparison: retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. Prioritise an accurate overview and select the most significant comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows the timeline from 1960 to 2020, so the reader can generally follow the sequence of changes. Phrases such as “From 1960 to 1980” and “As we move forward” help signal progression. However, the account is presented as one long paragraph, and repeated transitions such as “Next” and “At the year 2020” make the organisation feel mechanical. Some references are also unclear: “the next year that is 2000” is not a year immediately following 1980, and “climbing the ladder from 11 million, 15 million to approximately 16 million” does not clearly distinguish the two sectors. Use a separate overview and group related trends, with precise references to each sector and year.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to describe trends, including “declined,” “consistently,” and “linear growth,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more descriptive phrasing, such as “climbing the ladder,” although this is less suitable for a formal data summary. Some word choices and collocations are imprecise: “jobs available” and “job market” do not describe the chart as directly as “number of jobs” or “employment,” while “linear increase” suggests a straight-line pattern that the data points alone do not establish. “Job opportunities” is repeated frequently, and “concern for the farmers out there” is informal and introduces an unsupported opinion. Aim for concise, neutral terms such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “employment in agriculture.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “as,” and the main trends are usually understandable. Some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “the agriculture sector consistently remain” needs subject–verb agreement (“remained”), and “the number of jobs … are” should be “is.” The opening also has unnecessary commas in “we can see that, the number,” while “At the year 2020” is an awkward grammatical construction; use “In 2020.” Several sentences run together through repeated clauses, so clearer sentence boundaries would improve control. Continue using complex comparisons, but check agreement, tense consistency, articles, and punctuation when editing.

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