Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information rearding the number of jobs in manufacturing, agriculture, retail and healthcare sectors of economy in the US, from [redacted phone].

Jobs in healthcare sectors rose substantially from [redacted phone] along with the rise in jobs of retail sector within the same period. Although, a series of rise and then decline can be seen in economy sector of manufacturing while the jobs in agriculture setting gets lower, stays flat for a year, then decline relatively.

In 1960, number of jobs in healthcare sector were close to 2 million then get a rise in jobs upto 5 million in 1980, continues to grow from 11 million to a little over 15 million from [redacted phone]. Retail sector jobs were a little 5 million in 1960, keep in rising from year [redacted phone], 10 million to 15 million, then stays flat in upcoming year in 2002 almost near to 15.2 million. Therefore a sudden rise in manufacturing with 20 million jobs and fall in agriculture sector close to 3 million jobs can be seen in year 1980, with 20 million jobs, the upcoming years were more of a decline for manufacturing from 17 to 13 million in years 2000 to 2020 and for the agriculture it stays flat with a little downcurve from 2000 to 2020 3 and then 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks and then declines, and agriculture falls overall. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and its later fall from 17 to 13 million. However, the overview is not sufficiently precise: retail does not stay flat after 2000, but rises slightly to about 16 million by 2020, while healthcare also reaches roughly 16 million. The reference to retail in “2002” is inaccurate; the final year shown is 2020. The response gives a sequence of details but does not clearly compare the sectors’ positions at the end, when retail and healthcare are joint highest. A clearer, more accurate overview and fuller comparisons would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic overall structure, moving from an introduction to broad trends and then to figures, and it groups some related information together. However, progression is difficult to follow because several trends are compressed into long sentences. For example, the final paragraph shifts from healthcare to retail, then manufacturing and agriculture, with “Therefore” used to connect information that is not a clear consequence. Some linking phrases are also awkward or repetitive, such as “then,” “from year 1980-2000,” and “the upcoming years.” Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the detailed comparisons, and organise the body by related trends—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together. This would make the relationships between figures clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “rose substantially,” “decline,” “million,” and “sector,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “jobs in agriculture setting,” “a little 5 million,” “stays flat in upcoming year,” and “downcurve.” “A series of rise” is also an inaccurate form for describing a trend. Spelling errors such as “rearding” and imprecise expressions such as “sudden rise” reduce clarity. Aim for standard chart language and precise comparisons, such as “stood at,” “increased steadily,” “remained stable,” and “fell to approximately.” Check spelling and choose terms that describe the data directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “while,” but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the report difficult to read. Examples include “Jobs in healthcare sectors rose” (article and agreement), “then get a rise” (verb form and tense), and “the jobs in agriculture … gets lower” (agreement and tense). The sentence beginning “Therefore a sudden rise…” is especially hard to parse because its clauses and punctuation do not clearly show how the figures relate. There is some use of past-tense reporting, but tense shifts and incomplete constructions weaken accuracy. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, then combine ideas using controlled subordinate clauses.

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