Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph shows the trend about the number of works in different sectors of the economy such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare sectors experienced a rising rate, whereas manufacturing and agriculture shows a downward trend. Retail and healthcare sectors held the highest number of jobs while agriculture has the lowest number of jobs at the end of the period.

Looking first at sectors that experienced an increasing number, in 1960, healthchare sector recorded 2 million jobs which was the lowest among all the sectors. However, throughout the period it gradually increased to 16 million, accounting as one of the highest number of workers. Along side with the retail sector, it also shows a gradual increase from 6 million to 16 million. Making the two as the most number of jobs.

On the other hand, in 1960, manufacturing sector has the highest number recorded as 15 million. But after 1980, where it reached its highest peak at 20 million, it started to decline to 14 million. Agriculture sector continued to decline from 6 million to 2 million throughout the period. It recorded as the lowest number of workers.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response7.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response gives a clear overview of the main patterns: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, and agriculture ends as the smallest sector. It also selects relevant comparisons, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the two leading sectors reaching 16 million by 2020. Most figures are consistent with the chart, although manufacturing is reported at 14 million in 2020 rather than approximately 13 million. The overview slightly overgeneralises by saying retail and healthcare “held the highest number of jobs” across the period; manufacturing was highest until later. To strengthen an already well-focused summary, make that change in ranking explicit and describe the end-point tie more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouped by rising and declining sectors. This gives the reader a clear route through the information, and transitions such as “Looking first” and “On the other hand” help signal the comparison. The main weakness is that some links are awkward or incomplete: “Along side with the retail sector” does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence, and “Making the two as the most number of jobs” is a fragment that interrupts the progression. The overview also repeats the idea that agriculture has the fewest jobs. Use complete linking sentences and avoid repeating a point already established to make cohesion more flexible and less noticeable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant chart vocabulary, including “gradually increased,” “decline,” “highest peak,” and “recorded,” so the main trends are generally clear. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “number of works” should refer to jobs, “rising rate” is not the same as a rising number, and “the most number of jobs” is not idiomatic. There are also spelling errors in “healthchare” and “Along side.” These issues limit precision and make the language less natural, despite an adequate range for describing the data. Aim for standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” and “the highest employment figures,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrastive clause “whereas manufacturing and agriculture…” and the time clause “after 1980, where it reached its highest peak.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “manufacturing and agriculture shows” needs plural agreement, while “manufacturing sector has” and “agriculture sector continued” use inconsistent tense or missing articles. “Making the two as the most number of jobs” is also an incomplete sentence. Use past tense consistently for this historical period, check subject–verb agreement, and turn participle phrases into complete clauses. These corrections would improve accuracy while preserving the range of structures attempted.

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