Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The Line graph depicts the information about number of jobs in several sectors of the economy system in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,Manufacturing had the highest numbers of jobs initially.but its figure declined considerably after reaching the peak at 1980.In contrast,retail and healthcare experienced substantial growth whereas Agriculture saw a continous decline and became the samllest employment sector by 2020.

Looking first at the manufacturing as it was the most dominant category among all jobs and showed a peak at 20 million jobs in 1980 before facing a significant loss to approximately 13 million jobs in 2020.Meanwhile,Retail started at 5 million and grew rapidly to 10 million in 1980 and 15 in 2000.It finally accounted at approximately 16 million in 2020.

On the other hand, Healthcare started its journey at around 3million jobs and grew all the way to near 16million jobs without facing any loss in jobs.In Contrast Agriculture had the least amount of jobs starting from around 6 million in 1960 to near about 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response identifies the main patterns accurately: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines to the lowest level by 2020. It also supports these points with relevant figures, including manufacturing at 20 million and later about 13 million, and retail reaching approximately 16 million. This gives the report a clear overview and covers the key series. Some details are imprecise: retail is reported as 5 million in 1960 rather than about 6 million, and healthcare begins at around 3 million rather than 2 million. The comparison between retail and healthcare at the end could also be made explicit, as both reach about 16 million jobs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to paragraphs describing the trends. The contrast in the overview between manufacturing and the growing sectors helps the reader follow the main picture, and phrases such as “Meanwhile” and “On the other hand” signal relationships between ideas. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some progression. However, linking is occasionally mechanical or awkward, and the final paragraph places healthcare and agriculture together without developing a direct comparison. Improve the flow by grouping the two rising sectors and the declining sector more deliberately, and use transitions only where they clarify the relationship between figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is some useful range in phrases such as “declined considerably,” “substantial growth,” “dominant category,” and “significant loss.” These choices communicate the broad trends, but the vocabulary is not consistently precise or natural. Expressions such as “economy system,” “started its journey,” and “accounted at” are unsuitable or awkward in a formal data report; “continuous decline” is also misspelled as “continous,” and “smallest” as “samllest.” Repetition of “jobs” and “grew” limits flexibility. Aim for accurate collocations and concise reporting language, such as “the number of jobs,” “stood at,” and “rose steadily.” Careful proofreading would also remove noticeable spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts a mix of sentence forms, including a complex overview with contrast and sentences using “before” and “whereas.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but grammatical control is uneven, and several errors occur in sentence boundaries, articles, and punctuation. For example, “Overall,Manufacturing…” lacks spacing, while “initially.but” incorrectly joins a full stop to the next sentence. “Looking first at the manufacturing as it was…” is an incomplete and awkwardly constructed opening, and “It finally accounted at approximately 16 million” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. Capitalisation after commas is also inconsistent. Build more reliable sentence structures and check articles, punctuation, and verb patterns; this will make the attempted complexity clearer and more accurate.

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