Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the numerical informatiom of jobs in various fields (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the jobs in healthcare sector were the highest proportion which firstly slightly increase, after this decreased dramatically. Retail and agriculture field were at the same ratio in start but one experienced upward trend while later dipped. As well as number of jobs in healthcare sector was the lowest figure, it experienced upward trend along with retail sector stands at the highest figure at the end of period.

Firstly, in 1960, jobs in manufacturing field stands at 15 million, which goes 20 million within two decades, after this dropped sharply. While, healthcare sector jobs were least in 1960, which gradually increase stands at the peak in 2020.

Furthermore, retail and agriculture field were at same point in 1960, one experienced upward trend, stands with healthcare sector jobs in 2020, while the later dipped in [redacted phone] whie remain stable to next two decades after this decrease slightl

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response identifies several relevant trends, including manufacturing rising to a peak before falling and agriculture declining overall. However, the overview is substantially inaccurate and confusing: it says healthcare was initially the highest and then decreased, when healthcare actually began as the lowest series and rose steadily to 16 million. It also says retail and agriculture were equal at the start, which is correct, but the description of their later movement is unclear and incomplete. Some figures are reported accurately, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, but the response omits key comparisons, including retail’s steady rise and healthcare’s eventual tie with retail. A clearer, accurate overview and fuller reporting of the main trends are needed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and it uses sequencing expressions such as “Overall,” “Firstly” and “Furthermore.” These features give the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression is weakened by contradictory statements in the overview: healthcare is described as both the highest initially and the lowest in 1960, while the account of retail and agriculture is difficult to follow. Several sentences combine multiple trends without clear links, and the final paragraph ends abruptly. Organise the details by clear comparisons—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “upward trend,” “dropped sharply,” “peak” and “stable,” and the response generally communicates the topic. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “numerical informatiom of jobs,” “same ratio,” “later dipped” and “stands with healthcare sector jobs” do not express the intended comparisons naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “informatiom,” “whie” and “slightl.” Use precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “equal figures,” “rose,” “fell” and “reached the same level.” Greater accuracy in these common graph-description phrases would make the account clearer and more flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “which” and contrasts introduced by “while,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur repeatedly: “jobs … stands,” “which goes 20 million,” and “healthcare sector jobs were least … which gradually increase.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in phrases such as “in start” and “retail and agriculture field were at same point.” Some sentences are incomplete or awkwardly joined, and the final sentence is unfinished, which makes the relationships between ideas harder to understand. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences before adding subordinate clauses.

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