Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Thw line graph illustrates number of jobs in four sectors (manufacturing, retail,agriculture and healthcare ) of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that both retail and healthcare industries were experienced upward trend over the period except in the initial year, while the economy of manufacturing industries were consistently fell . Moreover, agricultural field remain stable from 1980 to 2020.

To the begin of the period, economy of manufacturing sectors werw around 15 millions,whereas it escaled slightly i 1980 at 20 millions and next three decades the economu was consistenly declined to just below 15 millions.

On moving furher, in 1960 the economy of retail sectors were only above 5millions,while in 2000,it incresed dramaticlly to 15 millions .it was the dominant economy among other sectors.It is noticeable that economy of healthcare improved over period which acconted foe 10, 15 and 20millions respectively. agriculture sectots were experienced steep developments from1980 to 2020,which showed

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview, noting growth in retail and healthcare and a decline in manufacturing. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: manufacturing rose to a peak in 1980 before falling, rather than consistently falling, and agriculture did not remain stable throughout 1980–2020, as it dropped from about 3 million to 2 million jobs. Several key comparisons are missing or unclear. For example, healthcare rose from about 2 million to 16 million, matching retail by 2020, while retail became the largest sector by 2020 alongside healthcare. The final sentence is unfinished, so the agricultural trend is not properly reported. Select the main changes accurately and support them with clear, relevant figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing sector details. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “To the begin of the period” and “On moving further” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression is uneven, and some connections are difficult to follow. The manufacturing and retail details are mixed with unclear comparisons, while the healthcare and agriculture information is compressed into one sentence. The final clause, “which showed,” is incomplete and leaves the report without a clear ending. Organise the body by grouping related trends, and use straightforward links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile” only where they clarify the relationship between figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sectors,” “upward trend,” “declined” and “dramatically,” so the reader can identify the subject and general movements. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning awkward, such as “economy of manufacturing sectors,” “steep developments” for agriculture, and “dominant economy” for the sector with the most jobs. Spelling errors, including “escaled,” “incresed” and “agriculture sectots,” also reduce clarity. Use precise terms for employment data—such as “number of jobs,” “employment” and “sector”—and check spelling carefully. Avoid forcing formal-sounding phrases when a simpler expression is more accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a comparison introduced by “whereas” and a relative clause beginning “which.” However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors frequently make the report harder to read. Examples include “both retail and healthcare industries were experienced,” “manufacturing industries were consistently fell,” and “agriculture field remain stable,” where verb forms and agreement are incorrect. Articles, plurals and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “15 millions” and the run-on transition “15 millions .it was.” Practise forming accurate past-tense sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then declined.” Use full stops and spaces consistently.

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