Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This graph gives information about different jobs in four sectors of the economy in US. First of all, we discuss about manufacturing sector. In 960,there is a fifteen million jobs available in this sector. They rises in the next 20 years and become twenty million in 1980. But onward years, the number of jobs starts to decline in this sector. In 2000, they reached almost 17 million but in 2020 there is just 14 million jobs left. Similarly, we discuss retail sector. In 1960,this sector has 6 million jobs. Further, they increase in a large amount every twenty years. In 1980, they have 10 million jobs. In 2000,they have 15 million jobs and in 2020 they have almost 16 million jobs available in their sector. Next sector is agriculture whose jobs availability is less as compared to above two sectors. They are going to decrease every year. In 1960, only 6 million jobs are available while in 1980 they decrease and become 2-3 million. In 2000, 2-3 million jobs available while in 2020 there is just 1 million jobs available. The last sector to discuss is healthcare whose jobs availability is same as retail sector with a few differences. In 1960, they have 2 million vacancies while in 1980 they have 5 million jobs available. In 2000, they have 11 million jobs while in 2020 there is 16 million jobs available in this sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 and healthcare reaching 16 million in 2020. However, the response mainly lists each sector in turn and does not provide a clear overview of the graph’s main patterns or comparisons. Some figures are inaccurate: agriculture is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000 and 2 million in 2020, rather than 1 million in 2020; manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, not 14. The claim that agriculture decreases “every year” is also unsupported by the four data points. To strengthen the report, summarise the major contrasts—for example, manufacturing peaks then declines, while retail and healthcare rise—and check figures against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable sequence, moving from manufacturing through retail and agriculture to healthcare, and time markers such as “In 1980” help readers follow the figures. However, the organisation is largely a repeated sector-by-sector list, with no separate overview to establish the main trends before the details. Connectors such as “First of all,” “Similarly,” “Further,” and “Next” are repetitive or do not always express the relationship between the data. Some references, especially repeated “they,” are unclear because they may refer to jobs or sectors. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture would create clearer progression and more effective cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “manufacturing sector,” “retail sector,” “decline,” and “increase.” There is some variation in describing change, but several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “jobs available,” “jobs availability,” and “they have.” Some expressions are also unnatural for describing a graph: “become twenty million” and “jobs left” sound less suitable than standard reporting language. Aim for a more precise range of trend vocabulary and collocations, such as “the number of jobs rose,” “stood at,” “fell to,” and “remained stable.” This would make the account more concise and natural while preserving the figures and comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences with time clauses, so the response is not limited entirely to one sentence pattern. However, errors are frequent and sometimes make the relationships between subjects and verbs unclear. Examples include “They rises,” “they reached,” and “there is a fifteen million jobs,” which show problems with agreement and singular/plural forms. Tense use also shifts inconsistently between past reporting and present forms, as in “this sector has 6 million jobs” and “they decrease.” Articles and sentence punctuation need attention too, including missing spaces after commas and the construction “In 2000, 2-3 million jobs available.” Practise consistent past-tense reporting and complete, accurately formed clauses.

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