Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the change in four different sector of economy in US namely; Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing was the largest employment sector in the beginning and declined slightly by the last year. However, healthcare was the smallest employment sector in the initial year and the higher in the last year.

In 1960, Manufacturing was accounted for 15 million jobs, and at peak in 1980 with 20 million jobs. Certainly, by the last year the number of jobs decreased by 13 million. By contrast, in the beginning retail represent just over 5 million, and considerably increasing by the year 2020 at 15 million and become higher than manufacturing.

Agriculture was at the same figure as retail, and decreasing over the period and eventually at the lowest with barely 2 million. Whereas, healthcare was the represented for just 2 million and dramatically increase and being at the top in the year 2020 at 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing starts as the largest sector and falls, while healthcare rises from the smallest to one of the largest by 2020. The report also selects relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to about 2 million. This gives a clear, relevant summary of the graph. However, some comparisons are incomplete or imprecise: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15, and healthcare also reaches about 16 million, so it is tied with retail rather than uniquely “at the top.” The overview could also state more clearly that retail rises steadily while agriculture declines. More precise comparisons and a fuller overview would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by details about manufacturing and retail, then agriculture and healthcare. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and contrast markers such as “However” and “By contrast” help connect comparisons. Some linking is less effective, though. “Whereas” begins a sentence fragment, and “Certainly” does not clearly signal the relationship between the manufacturing figures. The final two sectors are also compressed into one sentence, making their contrasting trends less clear. Use complete sentences and organise the details into more balanced comparisons—for example, group the two rising sectors together and the declining sectors together—to make progression smoother and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “peak,” “decreased,” “dramatically increase,” and “eventually.” These choices help communicate the broad movements in the graph, and the sector names are used appropriately. However, several word combinations or forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “the higher,” “at the same figure,” and “was the represented for.” “Considerably increasing” is also not a natural way to describe the rise in retail employment. These slips do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for standard trend collocations such as “rose considerably,” “stood at the same level,” and “the highest figure.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex structures, including the overview contrast with “However” and the comparison introduced by “By contrast.” The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Manufacturing was accounted for” uses an incorrect passive form, while “retail represent” and “dramatically increase” do not maintain the appropriate past tense. There are also agreement and sentence-structure problems in “the higher in the last year” and the fragment beginning “Whereas.” The opening phrase “four different sector” also has a plural-form error. Check tense consistency when reporting past data, use complete clauses after linking words, and review subject–verb agreement and articles.

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