Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph chart provide information about the value of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the America between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the graph chart illustrates the jobs healthcare and retail both rise every year and the agriculture sector decrese every year. And the manufacturing also provide their own information.

Firstly, the manufacturing jobs rise up in 1960 then they reached their peak on 1980 then the value declined. The retail jobs smoothly incerease every year finaly then stand good position in 2020 they toucing 15 numbers of jobs.

Secondly, the agriculture sector climbed very smoothly when they reached on 2020 the value same ratail and agriculture. Lastly, the health care center in 1960 declined first 20 years in 1980 they stand on only 2.5 value then in 2000 the value same when they move in 2020 the value of healthcare sector minor decrease then they value only 2.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes an attempt to describe all four sectors, but the main features are often misreported or unclear, so the summary only minimally fulfils the task. For example, healthcare did not decline from 1960 to 1980: it rose from about 2 million jobs to 5 million, then increased substantially to around 16 million by 2020. Agriculture generally fell, rather than climbing, and manufacturing peaked in 1980 after rising from 15 to 20 million. The statement that retail and healthcare “both rise every year” is broadly consistent with the overall direction, but the graph gives data at four points, not every year. Include a clear overview of the contrasting trends and use accurate comparisons and figures to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response has an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs, with sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly.” These help the reader recognise the intended order. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several sentences contain unclear or contradictory information. For instance, the agriculture paragraph says it “climbed” and then compares its 2020 value with retail, while the healthcare paragraph describes a decline that does not match the graph. The overview also ends with the vague sentence “And the manufacturing also provide their own information.” Group the sectors by trend, and make each paragraph report a coherent set of accurate comparisons. Use linking words to show relationships, not simply to mark each new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “declined,” “increase,” and “sector,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand, such as “stand good position,” “touching 15 numbers of jobs,” and “same ratail and agriculture.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “decrese,” “incerease,” and “finaly.” Choose precise language for trends and figures, and check spelling before submitting. For example, describe a line as reaching a peak, falling, or remaining stable, and report the number of jobs in millions rather than referring to “numbers of jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and the paragraph openings show an effort to sequence information. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes distort the intended meaning. Examples include “The graph chart provide,” “healthcare and retail both rise,” and “the agriculture sector climbed,” where subject–verb agreement or verb forms are incorrect. Tense and sentence construction are also unreliable in phrases such as “when they reached on 2020” and “when they move in 2020.” Several sentences join ideas without clear grammatical links, particularly the overview and final paragraph. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences first; then combine related points using correctly formed clauses and appropriate punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.