Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the graph compares about number of the employment in four sectors of the economy in the US, its covers the perioed from 1960 to 202rur sectors the retail and healthcare employments sectors are increased over the year, Zwhile manufacturing and agriculture declined. The figuers indicate a notable changes in different job prefrences, with retail and healthcare domination the employe pattern

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the chart’s subject and make a relevant broad comparison: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline. However, the response does not provide an adequate summary of the main features: it gives no figures, comparisons between sectors, or account of how trends change over time. The claim that retail and healthcare dominate the employment pattern is only partly supported, since manufacturing begins as the largest sector and remains higher than both in 2000. The response is also far below the required 150 words, at 51 words; nine words copied from the prompt were excluded from that count. Add a clear overview and select key figures to support the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it begins by introducing the graph and then gives a general statement about the trends. The contrast between sectors, signalled by “while,” helps connect the main ideas. However, the response is a single, very short run-on passage, with no clear separation between an introduction, overview, and supporting details. The opening is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear sentence boundaries, and “The figures indicate…” does not lead into specific evidence. Use separate sentences and paragraphs, and order information from an overview to comparisons supported by data.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “sectors,” “declined,” and “pattern,” and the reader can recognise the general subject. However, inaccurate spelling and word forms are frequent, as in “perioed,” “figuers,” “employe,” and “employments.” Several combinations are also unnatural or unclear: “about number of the employment,” “job prefrences,” and “retail and healthcare domination.” These choices make parts of the response difficult to interpret and limit precision. Aim for standard chart language and accurate collocations, such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in these sectors,” and “the figures show a shift.” Proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to combine information in a longer sentence, including a contrast introduced by “while,” but grammatical control is weak and the sentence structure is difficult to follow. For example, “the graph compares about number of the employment …, its covers” contains an unclear noun phrase and an incorrect clause connection; “its covers” also has an incorrect subject–verb form. The opening lacks clear sentence boundaries, and the final clause, “with retail and healthcare domination the employe pattern,” is not grammatically complete. Use short, accurate sentences first, with a clear subject and verb, then add a controlled comparison. Check articles, clause connections, and verb forms when editing.

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