Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the ratio of economy jobs in the US between 1960 and 2020 in four sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

Overall, the most noticeable feature is the drastic increase in Healthcare. Whereas, various fluctuations have been seen in Manufacturing and Agriculture which has decreased dramtically in 2020. Also, retail showed upward trend.

In detail, the number of jobs in Manufacturing started at 15 million which peaked at 20 million then showed dramatic decrease in 2020 which was around 13 million. By contrast , jobs in Retail began about 6 million and Healthcare started at 2 million approximately both showed upward trend and reached around 16 million in 2020 respectively.

Subsequently, jobs in Agriculture began about 5 million showed considerable change in 1980 around 6 million then showed drastic decline till 1980. However, It can be observered that it showed constant decline in 2020 which finally reached to 1 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before falling, while retail and healthcare grow, with healthcare showing the strongest overall increase. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million initially and about 13 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture starts at 6 million, not 5, falls to 3 million by 1980, and ends at about 2 million rather than 1. The claim that it changed considerably in 1980 and then declined “till 1980” is contradictory. The overview also misses the important comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020. Select and report the key stages more accurately to make the summary clearer and fuller.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and the information is generally grouped by sector. This gives the reader a basic route through the graph. However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory sequencing, especially “showed considerable change in 1980 around 6 million then showed drastic decline till 1980.” The opening overview also moves between sectors without clearly distinguishing their trends, and “By contrast” does not fit well before retail and healthcare, which both rise. Use clearer comparisons and time markers, and ensure each sentence advances the description logically. More precise referencing would also help readers follow which sector and period each statement concerns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant graph vocabulary, including “peaked,” “upward trend,” “decline,” and “reached,” so the main trends are usually understandable. There is also some attempt to vary descriptions with phrases such as “drastic increase” and “considerable change.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “ratio of economy jobs” does not describe the number of jobs, and “various fluctuations” is not a precise account of the sector trends. “Showed considerable change” is vague, while “drastically” is misspelled as “dramtically” and “observered” is also misspelled. Aim for precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “fell steadily,” and “remained stable,” choosing language that matches the data rather than relying on general intensifiers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrast structure “Whereas…” and sentences linking figures with trends. Most of the intended meaning can be understood, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems reduce clarity. “Whereas” is left as a fragment, and “Manufacturing and Agriculture which has decreased” has an unclear relative clause and faulty agreement. In “jobs in Retail began about 6 million,” the verb pattern needs “began at,” while “both showed upward trend” needs an article. The agriculture sentence also lacks clear sentence boundaries and contains a confusing time reference. Practise complete clauses, consistent past-tense reporting, and accurate articles and agreement; clearer punctuation will help your comparisons read smoothly.

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