Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs performed by people in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs were in four sectors that includes the manufacturing sector, retail sector, agriculture sector and healthcare sector. These all jobs occured since 1960 to 2020.

Firstly, the sector which had highest jobs was healthcare which started by 2 million people in the year 1960, then the number of jobs elevated to 5 million in the year 1980, then the number rose to 11 million jobs in the year 2002. Then the number reached to 15.5 million jobs in the year 2020. In the other sector which was retail it initially had 6 million jobs in 1960. However, then the number went higher to 10 million jobs in the 1980. After this the number increased to 15 million jobs in thw 2000. Lastly the number of jobs went to 15.5 million in 2020.

Secondly, the jobs in the manufacturing sector were in 15 million at 1960. After this the number increased to 20 million jobs in 1980. Next the number dropped to 16 million jobs in 2000 . At the last the number were drastically reduced to 14 million jobs in 2020. The agriculture sector had 6 million jobs in 1960, then number of jobs reduced to 2.5 million jobs in 1980. Moreover, the number of jobs remained same till the year 2000. Finally, the number of jobs reduced to 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising from 15 million to 20 million before declining, and healthcare increasing from 2 million to about 16 million. However, the overview is not effective: “These all jobs occured since 1960 to 2020” does not identify the main trends or comparisons. The claim that healthcare had the highest number of jobs from the start is inaccurate; manufacturing led in 1960, 1980 and 2000, while retail and healthcare were joint-highest by 2020. There are also small data inaccuracies, including placing healthcare’s 11-million figure in 2002 rather than 2000. A concise overview and more accurate comparisons would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces the graph, then discusses healthcare and retail before moving to manufacturing and agriculture. Paragraphing and sequence markers such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Moreover” and “Finally” help the reader follow the account. However, the linking is sometimes mechanical, and the overview paragraph does not provide a meaningful summary of the trends. Repeated sentence openings such as “the number of jobs” also make the progression feel list-like. Some references are unclear, as in “These all jobs,” and the transition “In the other sector” is awkward. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with a clear overview, would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “dropped,” “remained” and “reduced,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are unnatural or imprecise, such as “jobs performed by people,” “started by 2 million people,” and “the number reached to.” The repeated use of “the number of jobs” also restricts variety. There are spelling errors, including “occured” and “thw,” and some word choices blur the distinction between jobs and people. Use standard chart language such as “employment,” “stood at,” and “rose to,” while checking spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can usually understand the sequence of changes. However, grammatical errors are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “the jobs were in four sectors that includes” has an agreement error, while “These all jobs occured since 1960 to 2020” has faulty sentence structure and tense. Other examples include “started by 2 million people,” “reached to 15.5 million,” and “the number were drastically reduced,” which show problems with verb patterns, prepositions and agreement. Some punctuation is also inconsistent, such as the space before the full stop after “2000 .” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and basic sentence patterns before adding more complex clauses.

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