Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph illustrations fact about the number of vocations in four sectors of the economy in the us namely the manufacturing, retal agriculture and health between 1920 and 2020. overall, the manufacturing is the highest proporation among the economy. while, the agricuture is the lowest percentage among the sectors of the economy. It is clear that all the sectors experinced the growth of the reporting the main feactures among the year of the 1960 to 2020.In 1960 the highest percentage was the manufacturing reached at 15 percentage of the jobs in millions. while, the retal and thye healthcare was the same at 5% . while, agriculture seems at above the zero at 3% and lowest at the number of jobs in 1960.By the end of the period the retal has sharply risen at the 12% in 2020. it was the highest perecentage. while, the agriculture lowest percentage at the 3% in the year of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies manufacturing as the leading sector at the start and agriculture as the smallest overall, and it attempts to compare the beginning and end of the period. However, several figures and trends are inaccurate: the chart begins in 1960, not 1920; retail and healthcare were about 6 and 2 million jobs in 1960, not both 5; and retail reached about 16 million in 2020, not 12. The claim that all sectors grew is also incorrect, since agriculture declined and manufacturing fell after 1980. The overview is unclear and does not capture the major changes, especially healthcare’s strong rise. The response is 146 words, below the 150-word minimum, and needs more accurate, relevant detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the report by giving an opening statement, an overview and then details about 1960 and 2020. This gives the reader some sense of the intended comparison. However, the progression is difficult to follow because ideas are joined in long, loosely connected stretches, and “while” is repeatedly used to introduce separate points. The overview and details also overlap, while the middle years—1980 and 2000—are not organised into a clear comparison. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and key data, and group related trends together, such as manufacturing’s rise and subsequent decline alongside the growth in retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “sectors,” “highest,” “lowest” and “sharply risen,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, word choice and spelling are often inaccurate or imprecise: “vocations” does not mean jobs in this context, “percentage” is unsuitable for figures measured in millions, and “retal,” “proporation” and “agricuture” are misspelled. Phrases such as “the growth of the reporting the main feactures” are difficult to understand. Aim for accurate chart language, including “number of jobs,” “million,” “increased,” “declined” and “remained stable.” Check spelling carefully, as repeated errors reduce clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts several sentence forms, including an overview and comparisons, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are often faulty: for example, “overall, the manufacturing is the highest proporation among the economy. while…” begins a new sentence with a dependent connector, and several clauses are joined without clear structure. There are also problems with articles, agreement and verb patterns, as in “the retal and thye healthcare was the same” and “the retal has sharply risen.” The repeated use of fragments beginning with “while” makes relationships between ideas unclear. Build shorter, complete sentences first, then practise accurate comparative structures such as “Retail rose from … to …, whereas manufacturing fell.”

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