Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph shows changes in the number of jobs across four different economic sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020 Overall, jobs in Retail and Healthcare increased continuously over the 60-year period, while employment in Agriculture decreased, on the other hand Manufacturing will increase first and then fall down In 1960, Manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at 15 million. It is increased to 20 million 1980, but after that, it fell down to about 13 million in 2020. Agriculture started at 6 million jobs in 1960, but it slowly decreased to less than 3 million by 2020. On the other hand, Retail started at 6 million jobs in 1960 and went up to almost 16 million in 2020. Healthcare had only 2 million jobs in the beginning, which was the lowest. But it will increased a lot and reached up to 16 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response identifies the main overall movements: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. It also selects relevant figures, including manufacturing’s 15 million jobs in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare’s rise from 2 million to 16 million. These details support a clear summary of the graph. Some reporting is less precise: agriculture is described as falling to “less than 3 million,” although the chart shows about 2 million, and the overview could highlight that retail and healthcare both reach roughly 16 million by 2020, overtaking manufacturing. Overall, the key features are addressed and supported, though a few comparisons and details are generalised rather than fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs describing manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This grouping makes the main trends easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Overall” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships. The progression is generally logical, but some connections are mechanical or awkward, particularly “on the other hand Manufacturing” in the overview, where the contrast is not smoothly integrated. The long gaps and uneven spacing also interrupt the visual flow. To strengthen cohesion, use more precise transitions and connect related comparisons directly—for example, explain how retail and healthcare converge at around 16 million in 2020.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for describing the graph, with relevant terms such as “increased,” “decreased,” “highest,” and “lowest,” and the writer uses sector names consistently. Meaning remains clear throughout. However, several choices are repetitive or imprecise: “fell down” is less natural for a graph trend than “declined,” while “increased a lot” is vague and could be replaced with a more exact description such as “rose sharply.” “Slowly decreased” also suggests a gradual pace that the limited data points do not establish. The response shows some range, but greater precision in trend language and more natural collocations would make the description more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes a mix of simple and more developed sentences, including clauses with “while,” “but,” and “which,” so it can express contrasts and changes over time. However, some errors recur in verb forms and tense: “It is increased to 20 million” should be “It increased,” and “it will increased” should be “it increased” or “it rose.” The overview also shifts to the future in “Manufacturing will increase,” although the graph reports past data. There are occasional punctuation and sentence-boundary problems, especially where contrasting ideas are joined awkwardly. These errors do not prevent understanding, but more consistent past-tense control and careful editing of complex sentences are needed.

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