Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph compares the data of job in several sectors in US in 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it has four job opportunity all have similar figures between 1960 and 2020, most of the people prefer manufacturing and this is the highest economy or lowest is agriculture.

At the begin, highest economy in all years is manufacturig and second highest is retail additionally these both have exact numbers like in 2000 manufacturing is 16 and in 2020 retail is same. Also in 1980 manufacturing economy is double of the retail and in 1960 economy of manufacturing and 2000 economy of retail is exact.

Moreover, agriculture or healthcare is the lowest sectours but it has some exact numbers such as in agriculture in both year 1980 to 2000 it has same number also in 2020 economy of agriculture and in 1960 of helthcare sector is same.furtermore retail and agriculture in 1960 both number is correct or retail or healthcare in 2020 both have same number.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and make some relevant comparisons, including that agriculture stays low and that healthcare and retail reach the same level in 2020. However, the overview is inaccurate: manufacturing is not the highest in every year, since retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, above manufacturing at about 13 million. The claim that most people prefer manufacturing is not supported by a graph showing job numbers. Several comparisons are also unclear or incorrect: manufacturing in 1980 is not double retail, and the 2000 manufacturing figure is about 17 million, not 16. To improve, give a clear overview of the main changes—manufacturing peaks then declines, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls—and support it with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs, and it uses basic linking expressions such as “Overall,” “At the begin,” and “Moreover.” This gives the reader some sense of grouping. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the overview’s claims are repeated or contradicted later, and the body paragraphs list “exact numbers” without explaining the main trends. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the final sentence linking agriculture in 2020 with healthcare in 1960. Use one paragraph to compare the rising sectors with manufacturing, and another to describe agriculture and key endpoints. Clearer sequencing and more precise references would make the comparisons easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “sectors,” “highest,” “lowest,” and “same number,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices make the meaning unclear. “Job opportunity” does not accurately describe the figures, while “highest economy” is not an appropriate way to refer to a sector’s job total. Phrases such as “exact numbers” and “both number is correct” are also imprecise. Spelling errors, including “manufacturig,” “sectours,” and “helthcare,” further reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of terms for describing data, such as “employment,” “job numbers,” “rose,” “fell,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the response is generally recognisable despite grammatical problems. Some basic structures are controlled, such as “in both year 1980 to 2000 it has same number,” but errors recur in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “it has four job opportunity all have similar figures” joins clauses without a clear grammatical link, and “retail and agriculture in 1960 both number is correct” has faulty word order and agreement. The sentence beginning “At the begin” also contains several clauses that are difficult to parse. Practise writing shorter, complete comparisons first, then combine them with accurate conjunctions and punctuation; check singular/plural forms and articles in each sentence.

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