Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the US economy.
Overall, jobs in retail and healthcare accounted for a significant rise. Whereas, manufacturing sector showed gradual increase before decreasing dramatically in next years. However, the figure for agriculture remained same after a slight decline.
In 1960, while healthcare sector offered around 2 million jobs, retail accounted for a figure of about 6 million. In addition, both these sectors experienced a considerable rise in figures which than conincided in 2020 at approximately 15 million.
In contrast, manufacturing sector started at 15 million in 1960 which increased gradually to 20 million by 1980. However, number of jobs then
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the graph’s subject and report several relevant trends, including growth in retail and healthcare and the initial rise in manufacturing. However, the response addresses the task only partially: it ends mid-sentence after “However, number of jobs then,” so the later manufacturing trend and agriculture figures are not fully reported. The overview also misstates the data: manufacturing rose to 20 million and then declined, rather than showing a “gradual increase before decreasing dramatically,” while agriculture did not remain unchanged after its initial fall, as it dropped again by 2020. Retail and healthcare meet at about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million. The response is also 35 words below the required minimum. Complete the comparisons and give an accurate overview.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs comparing groups of sectors. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In addition,” and “In contrast” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is weakened because the final paragraph stops mid-sentence, leaving the manufacturing comparison unfinished and agriculture without a developed account. Some transitions are also awkward or unnecessary: “Whereas” begins a fragment after the overview’s first sentence, and “However” is used repeatedly without always marking a clear contrast. Organise the details into complete comparisons, and use paragraphing to cover the rising sectors and the declining sectors in a balanced way.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “accounted for,” “experienced a considerable rise,” and “decline,” which helps describe changes in employment. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, however. “Jobs in retail and healthcare accounted for a significant rise” confuses the number of jobs with the change in that number; “the figures for” would be clearer. “Conincided” is misspelled, and “decreasing dramatically” overstates the manufacturing decline shown. The phrase “in next years” is also not a natural way to refer to the later period. Aim for precise trend language and check spelling, especially in key comparisons.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the contrast in “while healthcare sector offered …, retail accounted for …” and the relative clause “which increased gradually to 20 million.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. “Whereas, manufacturing sector…” is a sentence fragment, and “the manufacturing sector” needs an article. In “which increased gradually,” the reference of “which” is unclear; a direct construction such as “the figure rose” would be more controlled. The final sentence is incomplete, and “number of jobs” also needs an article. Build complete sentences and check articles, clause links, and punctuation.
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