Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the United States between year 1960 and 2020.

The overview of the graph shows that jobs in manufacturing industry were very common in the year 1960, and very few people were doing healthcare jobs, whereas retail and agricultural jobs had the same number employees.

Although manufacturing had the most number of jobs in 1960 about 15 million and it also increased in 1980 but interest in this field decreases with time and there were only 12 miilion left in year 2020.

Agricultural jobs were also decreased overtime as in 1960 the number was 6 million as compared to 2 million in 2020.

Retail and Healthcare jobs gain a massive increase from 1960 to 2020, as retail jobs were minimum in 1960 about 6 million but in 2020 there numbers went to 15 million. Similarly, Healthcare jobs number increased from 2 million to 15 million from 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main patterns accurately: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, agriculture declines, and both retail and healthcare grow substantially. The opening overview also notes the low starting point for healthcare and the equal figures for retail and agriculture in 1960. These points address the task clearly and are supported with relevant figures, such as manufacturing at about 15 million initially and agriculture falling from 6 to 2 million. However, some important comparisons are not fully developed: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before declining, while retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020 and overtake manufacturing. Also, retail and healthcare are described as reaching 15 million, slightly understating the final values. Including these details would make the account more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response follows a sensible order, moving from an introduction and overview to manufacturing, agriculture, and then retail and healthcare. Linking expressions such as “Although” and “Similarly” help connect comparisons, and the reader can follow the broad trends. The overview is separated from the detail, but the response would benefit from clearer paragraphing: the main overview and the data description are not consistently distinguished, and several trends are compressed into long sentences. Some connections are also a little mechanical, particularly the repeated “from 1960 to 2020” framing. To strengthen progression, use a distinct overview paragraph, then group the declining sectors together and the growing sectors together, with transitions that show how their rankings change.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “manufacturing,” “agricultural,” and “increased,” so the main information is understandable. There is some attempt at varied phrasing, such as “massive increase,” but several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a formal chart summary. “Interest in this field decreases” suggests changing public preference rather than a fall in job numbers, while “there numbers” is an incorrect form and “miilion” is misspelled. Phrases such as “most number of jobs” and “jobs number” also show limited control of collocation. Aim for precise reporting language—such as “employment fell,” “the number of jobs,” and “rose substantially”—and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mixture of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “Although” and a comparison introduced by “Similarly.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “between year 1960 and 2020” needs an article or plural form, and “interest … decreases” shifts tense in a description of past data. In “retail jobs were minimum,” the sentence structure does not express the intended comparison clearly; “were at their lowest” would be more accurate. The phrase “there numbers went” also has an agreement error, and punctuation is missing at the end. Keep the past tense consistent and review articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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