Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the graph line reperesent the data about amount of employment in sector of finance in US, from 1960 to 2020

overall, manufacturing was top out throughout the years, while health care accounted the lowest amount of employment in 1960 however, experienced rapidly increase till 2020.

menufacturing was a high of the trend which accounted 15 millions of jobs. it rose to 20 millions in 1980, and reached to about 13 millions by dramatically dropping. agriculture showed a peak grow from 5 millions in 1960 to 15 millions in 2000, and represent a slight grow by amlost 1 million in 2020.

retailing sector constituted decline throughout the years. it accounted about 6 millions in 1960, then considerably fall to about it's half in 1980 and then figure out to about 2millions in 2020, througha moderate change. healthcare sector significantly jumped over all the time, which was contributed just 3 millions of jobs in 1960,while reached to the 16 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and healthcare’s strong growth by 2020. However, the overview contains a major contradiction: manufacturing did not remain the top sector throughout, since retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million jobs in 2020, above manufacturing’s 13 million. Several figures and trends are also misreported: agriculture fell from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than growing to 15 million, while retail rose from 6 million to 16 million instead of declining. These inaccuracies mean the main features are only partially reported. To improve, check each series against the graph and give a concise, accurate overview of the contrasting trends and final rankings.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an opening, an overview and a paragraph describing sector details. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the information does not progress clearly because the sector descriptions contain confused or contradictory trends: for example, retail is said to decline, then its figures are described as falling to about 2 million, although the graph shows steady growth. The overview also conflicts with the data later reported. Linking is limited, and phrases such as “while” and “then” do not always make the relationships between figures clear. Group the sectors by trend—rising, falling or peaking—and use accurate comparisons to create a more coherent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose,” “dropping,” “decline,” “significantly jumped” and “moderate change.” This shows awareness of the language needed for a graph report. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unclear, as in “top out,” “peak grow,” “figure out” and “accounted the lowest amount.” There are also spelling errors such as “reperesent,” “menufacturing” and “amlost,” which make the report less fluent to read. Aim for precise, conventional expressions such as “reached a peak,” “fell steadily” and “accounted for.” Check spelling and use the same sector names consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some longer sentences, including clauses joined with “while” and “and.” However, the range is limited, and attempts at longer structures are often faulty. Examples include “health care accounted the lowest amount” and “which was contributed just 3 millions,” where the verb patterns are incomplete or incorrect. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention: “a high of the trend,” “15 millions,” and the run-on construction after “however” are not controlled. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate comparative sentences, such as “Healthcare rose from about 2 million jobs in 1960 to 16 million in 2020,” and review verb forms, articles and punctuation.

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