Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four economic sectors of the United States including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing showed the highest number of jobs while agriculture experienced the lowest number of jobs. Retail and healthcare showed a continuous rising trend over the period. So, manufacturing remained most popular among all.

In 1960, the number of jobs for manufacturing were 15 million, which rose to 20 million in 1980, then decreased continuously and reached 13 million in 2020. Whereas healthcare and retail started with 3 million and 6 million in 1960, which showed a rise of 5 million and 10 million respectively in 1980 and then continued to rise up to 16 million in 2020.

In contrast, agriculture started with 6 million jobs in 1960, dropped to 3 million in 1980, which then remained stable for next 20 years and showed a declining trend up to 2.5 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the four sectors and give a clear overview of the broad patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, agriculture is the smallest overall, and retail and healthcare rise. Several key figures are reported accurately, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million and fall to 13 million, and agriculture’s decline to 3 million by 1980. However, the overview overstates manufacturing’s position: it was not the largest sector throughout, since retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million in 2020, above manufacturing’s 13 million. Healthcare also began at about 2 million, not 3 million, and its rise to 5 million by 1980 is described ambiguously. More precise comparisons at the end of the period and clearer reporting of healthcare would make the coverage more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised effectively into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. The sequence from general trends to sector-specific figures is easy to follow, and contrast markers such as “Overall” and “In contrast” help signal relationships. The manufacturing paragraph is particularly clear in tracing its rise and subsequent decline. Some connections could be more precise: “Whereas healthcare and retail…” is attached to a sentence about manufacturing, making the comparison slightly awkward, and “So” introduces an unsupported conclusion that manufacturing remained the most popular. Grouping the two rising sectors together is sensible, but their figures and endpoints should be distinguished more clearly. These refinements would make the progression and comparisons more consistently controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of task-appropriate vocabulary, including “economic sectors,” “continuous rising trend,” “remained stable,” and “declining trend.” These choices communicate the main movements clearly, and the response avoids excessive repetition of basic verbs. Some phrasing is imprecise or not fully natural for describing employment data. “Most popular” suggests preference rather than the number of jobs, while “showed a rise of 5 million” can sound as though the increase itself was five million rather than the total reaching five million. “Number of jobs for manufacturing” is also less idiomatic than a concise sector-based expression. More precise collocations and varied verbs for increases, decreases and comparisons would improve flexibility and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including relative clauses (“which rose to 20 million”) and a contrastive sentence beginning “In contrast.” Most sentences remain understandable, and the time references are generally handled consistently. Some grammatical errors and awkward constructions remain. In “the number of jobs for manufacturing were 15 million,” the singular subject “number” requires “was.” The sentence beginning “Whereas healthcare and retail started…” is a fragment when separated from the preceding sentence, and its “which” reference is unclear. In “remained stable for next 20 years,” an article is needed before “next.” Aim to check subject–verb agreement, complete sentence structure and clear pronoun references while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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