Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the details about the amount of four different categories of jobs of the US economy in the time period of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector was recorded to be the largest economical market place for jobs in 1960, while health care was the lowest in that same year. In contrast, retail and healthcare progressed to be the largest job categories by 2020.

Manufacturing constituted for approximately 15 million jobs in 1960, which took a steady incline to 20 million by 1980. Since then this figure took a slight decline to 13 million by 2020. Conversely, retail industry provided 6 million jobs in 1960, which took a gradual rise to 15 million by 2000. The count took a slight rise to 16 million by 2020.

In 1960, agriculture supplied 6 million in employment, this number decreased to 3 million by 1980 and remained constant till 2000. This figure later dipped to 2 million by 2020. In the contrary, healthcare field accounted for only 2 million jobs in 1960, this data took a significant growth to 11 million by 2000 and 16 million in 2020, making healthcare one of the most predominantly growing industry.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response identifies the main overall pattern: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, while healthcare and retail grow to become the leading categories by 2020. It also reports the key figures and trends accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s decline to 2 million. This gives the reader a relevant summary with supporting data. However, the overview could be more precise: retail and healthcare are tied at 16 million in 2020, rather than simply being described as the largest categories. Some comparisons are also left implicit, such as healthcare overtaking manufacturing by 2020 and the relative stability of retail after 2000. A sharper overview and more direct comparisons would make the coverage more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The four-paragraph structure is appropriate: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs grouped by sector trends. The sequence is generally easy to follow, and contrasts such as “Conversely” help distinguish manufacturing from retail and agriculture from healthcare. The main limitation is that some linking is mechanical or imprecise. “In the contrary” is not an effective transition, and repeated phrases such as “this figure” and “this number” make references less clear in places. The final sentence also combines healthcare’s growth with an evaluative description rather than ending with a direct comparison. Use a wider range of accurate links and name the sector or figure when a pronoun reference could be ambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is enough vocabulary to describe the graph’s main movements, including “steady incline,” “gradual rise,” “decline,” and “remained constant.” However, several attempted phrases are inaccurate or unnatural for this task. “Economical market place for jobs” is an awkward way to describe the largest employment sector, while “constituted for” and “took a significant growth” are incorrect collocations. “Predominantly growing industry” is also unclear and overly evaluative. These choices do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Prefer standard data-reporting language such as “accounted for,” “rose,” “fell,” and “the sector with the most jobs,” using less common vocabulary only when it fits the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including relative clauses such as “which took a steady incline to 20 million” and time clauses such as “while health care was the lowest in that same year.” Most trends remain understandable, but some sentence structures contain errors. For example, “In 1960, agriculture supplied 6 million in employment, this number decreased…” joins two independent clauses with only a comma. The same pattern occurs in the healthcare sentence beginning “In 1960, healthcare field accounted…”. Articles are also missing in “healthcare field” and “manufacturing sector.” Improve control of sentence boundaries, articles, and clause construction while retaining the range of structures already attempted.

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