Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Jobs in tthe past [redacted phone] in US with in four sectors from given graph found the follwing details.

We have 4 sectors

1- Manufacturing

2- Retail

3- Agriculture

4- Healthcare

In between [redacted phone] the manufacturing industy saw a a lots of lows and highs as around 1970s it got a raise as people started investing in industries and it was eara of building the products like steal. as it is grow but later at one point of time it came to start declining as market is full of procucts noe its time for secandary procuct so it saterted declining. Coumputer and automated machines came in role so milions people lost jobs around 2000.

If we look at the graph the retail industies gave a riseing graph as it is very important to see that Manufacturing companies needed the raw matrieal and for that the need of market grew up as the market is needed for people to get in flow of bussiness to run retail didn't come rest although between [redacted phone] it didn't grow fast because of the AI and fast e-comerece.

As we can look at the graph line of agriculture it went down but in stable. The industrialisation of the world make move the people from the village to the urban areas so farming never grew up as to meet the demand of socity.

For healthcare same as the retail it grew as pepole became advaned and the new decises gave impact on the wold the need of doctor became mendetory. healthcare and the retail grew because of high demand of the peple but on same page manufactuting and the agriculture confied to the specific comunity or the socity of a people, Thst's the reason of not grew fast as other of them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and make some relevant broad observations: manufacturing rises and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare increase. However, the response only partially reports the graph because it gives no figures and does not clearly compare the sectors at key points. For example, manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980, while retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020; these important comparisons are missing. Several explanations, such as automation causing job losses and AI slowing retail growth, are not shown by the graph and take space away from describing its data. Give a concise overview of the main trends, then support it with accurate values and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is divided into paragraphs, and the discussion generally moves from manufacturing to retail, agriculture and healthcare. This gives it some organisation. However, the opening list of sectors does not establish a clear overview, and the paragraphs often mix graph description with speculative explanations, making the progression difficult to follow. Linking phrases such as “If we look at the graph” and “As we can look at the graph” are repetitive, while the final sentence combines several comparisons without making their relationships clear. Organise the report around an overview and then grouped trends—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use clear references and transitions to connect the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to economic change, including “declining,” “industrialisation,” “demand” and “automated machines.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are frequent, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to understand: “a lots of lows and highs,” “came in role,” and “the need of doctor became mendetory.” Some wording is also informal or imprecise for an academic report, such as “people lost jobs” and “the market is full of products.” Aim for accurate, straightforward terms for trends and employment, and check spelling carefully. A smaller range of correctly used expressions such as “increased steadily,” “fell to,” and “remained stable” would communicate the graph more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use longer sentences and clauses, but complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors make parts of the response hard to follow. For example, “as it is grow but later at one point of time it came to start declining” has unclear tense and clause structure, while “the industrialisation of the world make move the people” lacks correct verb forms and sentence construction. Articles, agreement and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “the need of doctor became” and the long final sentence joined with a comma. Use mostly controlled past-tense sentences to describe the period, and separate each trend or explanation into a complete sentence. Check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries during revision.

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