Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The rendered line graph depicts the information about the number of occupations in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare of the economic sector in the United States in the given year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector remained the highest throught from 1960 to 1980 but from 1980 to 2020 it was gradualy decline, Whereas the agricultural sector recorded the lowest figure from 1960 to 2020.

To begin with, manufacturing sector increases rapidly from 15 to 20 million jobs in this sector in1960 to 1980 but from 1980 to 2020 it was declining from 20 to 13 million jobs available in this sector which were decreasing rapidly. In retail sector, about 6 to 10 millions of jobs are available from 1960 to 1980 and then in 2000, the available occupations about 15 millions therefore, in 2020 it grow in very less amount about only 16 million which were very closer to the occupation available in 2000.

Furthermore, in Agriculture sector about 6 million jobs are in this given sector in 1960 but after that period its growth slow down and decline from 5 million to only 2 million from 1960 to 2020. Moreover, in healthcare sector , it is grow rapigly and start growth from 2 million to 16 millions of jobs are presented in this sector from 1960 to 2020 .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, agriculture is the smallest sector overall, and retail and healthcare rise. The overview is relevant, and the manufacturing and retail figures are mostly reported accurately. However, the claim that manufacturing remained the highest from 1960 to 1980 overlooks that it was overtaken by retail and healthcare by 2020; the overview should highlight this change in ranking. The agriculture account also says jobs declined “from 5 million,” although the chart shows about 6 million in 1960 and 3 million in both 1980 and 2000 before falling to 2 million. Healthcare’s strong rise is noted but not compared with retail, which reaches the same level by 2020. These omissions and inaccuracies limit the overview’s completeness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. The sequence from manufacturing and retail to agriculture and healthcare is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Overall,” “To begin with,” and “Furthermore” help signal the stages. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “therefore” does not clearly express the relationship between retail’s 2000 and 2020 figures, and the long manufacturing sentence repeats the decline rather than presenting the information efficiently. The overview’s “Whereas” also joins ideas awkwardly. Clearer grouping by trend—declining sectors versus rising sectors—and more precise links between comparisons would make progression smoother and cohesion less noticeable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “million jobs,” “decline,” and “growth,” and the reader can generally understand the trends being described. There is some attempt at variety, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “number of occupations” is less suitable than “number of jobs,” “growth slow down” does not describe agriculture’s falling figures precisely, and “grow in very less amount” is unnatural. Spelling errors such as “throught,” “gradualy,” and “rapigly” also reduce accuracy. Aim for concise, conventional chart language—for example, “rose steadily,” “fell to,” and “remained stable”—and check spelling and word forms. This would make the vocabulary more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is uneven, particularly in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “manufacturing sector increases” where past-tense reporting is needed, “it grow” instead of “it grew,” and “the available occupations about 15 millions,” which lacks a clear verb structure. The sentence beginning “Moreover, in healthcare sector” also shifts awkwardly between “it is grow” and “jobs are presented.” Some sentences combine several ideas with commas, making their grammatical relationships difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense forms and build comparisons in complete clauses; a wider range of structures will be more effective when these basic patterns are controlled.

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