Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph show the information about the many jobs in four sectors of the economy in us from 1960 to2020.

overall, the number of jobs in sector of manufacturing which was maximmun whereas lowest data was coverd by agriculture.

To begain with, number of jods in the sector of manufacturing which was 15 millions in 1960 howevere this figure was increased and reached at 20 millions after that this figure was slightly decresed all the l. giver years . Moreover in the case of retail was 6 millions , 10 millions ,and 15 millions respectvely.

Furthermore,the number of jobs in the sector of agriculture was 6 millions in 1960 after that this trend was decresed during the given all years at 4 millions

However, healthcare sectors was very popular among us people at 4 millions in 1960 and which was repidly increased and drop at 15 millions .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, the overview is incomplete: manufacturing was highest only until 1980, while retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020; agriculture was lowest at the end. Several details are inaccurate or unclear. Retail’s 2020 figure is omitted, agriculture fell to about 2 million rather than 4 million, and healthcare rose to about 16 million rather than 15 million; it did not drop. The response also contains only 141 words, below the 150-word minimum. Add a clearer overview and accurately compare the main changes across the full period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction and overview are followed by details about the sectors. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore” help signal movement between points. However, the progression is not consistently clear, and some connections are mechanical or confusing. For example, “this figure was slightly decreased all the l. giver years” does not clearly explain the period or direction of change, while the retail figures are listed without a clear time reference. The final paragraph also combines agriculture and healthcare without a clear comparison. Organise the details into a more logical sequence, use time markers consistently, and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” and “reached,” and you attempt to describe trends rather than simply list sectors. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the report difficult to read, including “maximmun,” “coverd,” “jods,” and “repidly.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “the number of jobs in sector” and “popular among us people,” which does not suit a chart about employment figures. Use standard trend language and accurate sector terminology, and check spelling carefully. More precise phrases such as “employment in healthcare” and “declined to” would make the descriptions clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to form longer sentences using “however,” “after that,” and “which,” but control is weak and errors occur frequently. The opening, “The line graph show,” has subject–verb disagreement, and “from 1960 to2020” has faulty spacing and an incomplete time expression. Several clauses lack a clear grammatical structure, as in “number of jobs in the sector of manufacturing which was 15 millions,” while “healthcare sectors was” also has agreement and number problems. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are inconsistent, particularly in the long manufacturing sentence. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use simple past forms consistently when reporting the historical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.