Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates number of jobs accosiated with 4 major industries over a timeline from 1960 to 2020 in United States. Overall its been observed that paterns in manufacturing indurty was significantly different as compared to retail, agriculture and healthcare.

Firstly, a trend has been observed in maufacturing. In 1960 it was at 15 million jobs, rising to 20 million jobs in 1980. However, it started declining gradually in later years, coming down to its lowest of nearly 13 million. Secondly, a surge has been observed in retail industry starting from just above 5 million in 1960, it rose to approximately 16 million jobs in 2020 creating alot of opportunities.

Thirdly, agricultural industry, it has experienced a gradual decline over this span of 8 years. Lastly, healthcare industry, which started at lowest in 1960, creating nearly 2 million jobs only. However, this indursty flousrished at an exponential rate creating alsomst same number of jobs in 2020 as of retail industry.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million jobs in 1980 followed by a decline, and the strong growth in retail and healthcare. The comparison that healthcare reached roughly the same level as retail by 2020 is also relevant. However, the overview is vague: saying manufacturing was “significantly different” does not clearly summarise the main contrast between its decline after 1980 and the growth in retail and healthcare. The agriculture account is incomplete and inaccurate: it fell from about 6 million to 3 million by 1980, remained level in 2000, and then dropped to 2 million in 2020—not over “8 years.” Some key stages and figures are therefore under-reported or unclear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable sequence, moving from an introduction and overview to separate descriptions of the four sectors. Signposting such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” helps readers follow the order, and the main trends are generally grouped by industry. However, the repeated list-like transitions make the progression somewhat mechanical, and the agriculture sentence is a fragment (“Thirdly, agricultural industry…”), interrupting the flow. The overview also does not prepare the reader clearly for the comparisons that follow. To strengthen organisation, use a concise overview of the contrasting trends, then group related sectors—for example, the growing sectors together—and use clearer links between their figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “declining,” “surge,” “gradual decline,” and “approximately,” which helps describe changes. There is also an attempt to vary wording rather than repeat “jobs” throughout. However, spelling errors such as “accosiated,” “paterns,” “indurty,” and “flousrished” are noticeable, and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural: “creating alot of opportunities” adds an unsupported interpretation, while “at an exponential rate” overstates the chart’s steady rise. “Lowest” is also unclear when describing manufacturing, since its 2020 figure is its lowest point in the period, not necessarily the lowest sector overall. Aim for accurate trend language and standard spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including contrast with “However” and a time clause in “starting from… in 1960, it rose…”. Most of the intended meaning can be understood, but some sentence structures are incomplete or awkward. “Thirdly, agricultural industry, it has experienced…” is a fragment with an unnecessary repeated subject; write, for example, “Thirdly, the agricultural sector experienced…”. The opening also needs an article (“illustrates the number”) and a possessive form (“the United States”). Tense and sentence control are uneven in phrases such as “its been observed” and “which started at lowest.” Check sentence boundaries, articles, and consistent past-tense reporting to make the descriptions clearer.

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