Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The Provide line graph illustrates the information regarding the oppurtunities of employment in manufacturing, retail, agrticulture and healthcare deparments in United States of America from year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that manufacturing sector has the highest numbers of job oppurtunities at start and slight decline can be seen at the end of the period. Moreover, health care department has the least oppurtunities as compared to all others but dramatical upward trend can be noticed at the end.
In 1960, manufacturing sector has the highest number of oppurtunities which starts from 15 million then reached at 20 million in 1980 and then decreased to almost 15 million in 2020. In contrast, healtcare department has the least number of available employments which stands on approximately 2 million in 1960 nevertheless increased simultaneously to 5million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000 then finally reached the top at 16 million in 2020.
To explain more, agriculture sector shows the downward trend which stood at 6 million in 1960. Afterwards, decline to 3 million and then become stable till the end of the period. In addition, retail chances also shows the upward trend and reached the top at 16 million job oppurtunities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing begins as the largest sector and later declines, while healthcare rises substantially. The body also covers agriculture and retail, so the key series are represented. However, some details are inaccurate or incomplete: manufacturing falls to about 13 million in 2020, not “almost 15 million,” and agriculture declines to 3 million by 1980, then remains level until 2000 before falling to 2 million in 2020. Retail’s rise is mentioned, but its starting point and intermediate growth are not reported. The overview also incorrectly calls healthcare the least-employing sector without limiting this to the beginning; by 2020 it is joint highest. More precise comparisons and a clearer overview would strengthen the report.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two detail paragraphs. This gives the information a generally logical arrangement, and contrasts such as “In contrast” help readers follow the comparison between manufacturing and healthcare. The progression is not fully controlled, however: the overview says healthcare has the fewest jobs without specifying that this applies only at the start, while the final paragraph introduces retail but gives little supporting detail. Some linking phrases, including “To explain more” and “In addition,” feel mechanical rather than showing a precise relationship between the data. Grouping the sectors by their trends and using clearer comparisons between their figures would make the progression more cohesive.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “downward trend,” “increased,” “decline,” and “stable,” and the reader can generally understand the intended meaning. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “opportunities of employment” and “available employments” are less suitable than “jobs” or “employment,” while “reached the top” is vague. There are also repeated spelling errors, including “oppurtunities,” “agrticulture,” and “healtcare,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; using “number of jobs” consistently would also avoid awkward repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “In contrast” and a longer sentence describing healthcare’s rise. Meaning is usually recoverable, but grammatical control is uneven. For example, “manufacturing sector has” needs an article, and “retail chances also shows” has a subject–verb agreement problem. Tense use also shifts: “has the highest” and “starts” describe past data in the present tense, while “decline to 3 million” lacks a finite verb. Some sentence boundaries and punctuation could be clearer, particularly in the long healthcare sentence. Use past tense consistently for the historical figures and check articles, agreement, and complete verb forms.
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