Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrate that the difference between Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare by years in the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. For instance in Manufacturing there are 15 millions jobs in 1960 where as in other sector jobs offered ranges from 0 to 6 millions that shows in 1960 the demands of manufacturing were more as compare to other sectors.

For time to time there significant changes in sectors where as in 1980 manufacture sector jobs grown higher and other sectors were growing together however the the manufacture sector rose from 15 to 20 while Retail sector rose from 6 to10 millions jobs similarly Agriculture and Healthcare sector rose significantly as follows in 2000 however the rise of Healthcare jobs is more as compare to Retail and there is slightly degrades in Manufacturing jobs and there is not that much changes in Agriculture.

The US economy of four sectors has been drastically changed in 2020 as the Retail and Healthcare sectors were touching 16 million jobs while the Manufacturing sec were dropped 13 millions and there is no growth in Agriculture sector.

In conclusion the the Retail and Healthcare sectors jobs of US grew rapidly while the manufacturing sector were degrading day by day while no very lean changes in Agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns, including manufacturing’s rise to about 20 million jobs in 1980 and its later decline, as well as the strong growth in retail and healthcare. You also note that agriculture changed little after 1980. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, rather than rising significantly by 2000, and agriculture declined from about 6 million to 3 million by 1980 before falling to 2 million in 2020. The overview is weakened by saying agriculture had “no growth” and that manufacturing declined “day by day.” Report the main trends more precisely and compare the sectors at key dates.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction to changes over time and then a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation, and the references to 1980, 2000 and 2020 help establish a timeline. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several years and sectors are combined in long sentences. For example, the second paragraph shifts from 1980 to 2000 without clearly separating the data for each year. Linking phrases such as “however,” “similarly” and “as follows” are sometimes inaccurate or do not clarify the relationship between ideas. Use one paragraph for the overview and organise the details into clear time-based comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “jobs,” “rose,” “dropped” and “grew rapidly,” so the general subject is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. Phrases such as “the difference between … by years,” “demands of manufacturing,” and “slightly degrades” do not describe the graph naturally. “Manufacture sector” is also used where the sector name should be “manufacturing.” Aim for precise trend language and standard collocations, such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in manufacturing,” “increased steadily” and “declined slightly.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences and use past-tense verbs to describe changes, but complex sentences are often difficult to control. Errors occur in agreement and verb forms, as in “The line graph illustrate” and “jobs grown higher.” Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention: “15 millions jobs” should be “15 million jobs,” while the second paragraph contains a run-on sequence of clauses. The conclusion’s “sectors jobs … grew” also has an unclear grammatical relationship. These recurring errors can make comparisons hard to follow. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related points with accurate conjunctions and punctuation.

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