Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph provides the knowledge about the number of jobs in four regions of the economy in US Between 1960 To 2020

In 1960 jobs of health care is starting to increase.its hype is increasing till it reach to 15 millions.

In the start agricultural jobs on its good posyion but with the passage of time it gradually slows down.in 2020 5 million of jobs are availible of agriculture.Number of jobs in these sectors of economy in the US are different .Jobs of retail starting from 5 million and its ending point is on 15 million .The popularity of these jobs enhancing day by day and reach a good position .

Economic rate of manufacturing industry started at 15 millions in 1960 and it reach 20 million in 1980 which is good point but instantly it going to decrese from 20 to 15 again in 2000 and then in 2020 it is on between 10 and 15 million rate

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response identifies all four sectors and includes some relevant figures, particularly manufacturing’s rise to 20 million in 1980 followed by a decline. However, several key details are inaccurate: healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 at an unspecified point; agriculture falls to about 2 million, not 5; and retail ends at about 16 million, rather than 15. The account also lacks a clear overview of the main contrasts, such as healthcare and retail rising while agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaking before falling. Some statements, including that agriculture was in a “good position,” are unclear or unsupported. Select the main trends accurately and summarise them before giving supporting figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response moves through the sectors in a broadly understandable order, and phrases such as “with the passage of time” and “in 2020” attempt to show change over time. However, the information is presented as one continuous block rather than in clearly organised paragraphs, and there is no distinct overview to guide the reader. Connections between ideas are often abrupt: the discussion shifts from agriculture to retail and then manufacturing without clear grouping or comparison. Some sequencing phrases are also vague, such as “in the start” and “instantly.” Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, grouping related trends and using clear time references to make progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The writer uses some task-related vocabulary, including “increase,” “gradually,” “decrease,” and “reach,” so the general topic is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “its hype is increasing” does not appropriately describe a rising number of jobs, while “good posyion” and “popularity of these jobs enhancing” are unsuitable or unclear descriptions of the data. Spelling errors such as “availible” and “decrese” also reduce control. Use precise language for graph trends and avoid claims about popularity or economic status that the chart does not show.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes over time using present and past forms, but control of sentence structure and basic grammar is limited. Errors occur frequently, as in “jobs of health care is starting to increase,” “it reach 20 million,” and “it is on between 10 and 15 million rate.” These include agreement, verb-form, article, and sentence-construction problems. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops and an unnecessary capital in “Between.” Most sentences rely on simple patterns, and attempts to connect clauses are not consistently accurate. Practise forming clear past-tense sentences with a subject and verb, for example, “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million to 16 million.”

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