Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph gives information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy including Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.

At start of 1960, retail and healthcare were remains constant and same starts from 6 million number of jobs, but iafter 1980 the reatail sector gives more jobs and reaches upto 15 million and then sharp increase in seen at the end of 2020, reaches upto 17 millions. On the otherhand, healthcare after 1980 reamins constant for upcoming years, sudden little decline can be seen at the end of 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in millions were seen at highest in 1980 in manufacturning approximately 20 millions, while the lowest can be seen in argriculture and manufacturning at the end of 2020. Meanwhile, a major change can clearly be seen at the end of 2020 in healthcare and retail sector when both remains at same level.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts to describe changes over time, but it misreports several central features, which limits how fully it addresses the task. Retail starts at 6 million, rises to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, then reaches about 16 million in 2020; the response skips the 1980 figure and incorrectly describes a sharp final rise to 17 million. Healthcare rises steadily from 2 to 16 million, rather than remaining constant and then declining. The overview also incorrectly names manufacturing as one of the lowest sectors in 2020. The response is 147 words, three words below the 150-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are excluded. Report the main trends accurately and include a clear overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the opening identifies the graph, the next paragraph discusses retail and healthcare, and the final paragraph attempts an overall summary. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand” and “Overall” help signal relationships between ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the account jumps between years and gives unclear comparisons; for example, “after 1980” does not specify the relevant later points, and the overview mixes the 1980 manufacturing peak with the 2020 lows. Some linking is also inaccurate or awkward, making relationships harder to understand. Organise the body by describing the main trends across the full period, and use a separate, accurate overview to highlight the contrasting trajectories.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “reaches,” “decline,” and “highest,” and attempts to describe change rather than merely list figures. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “were remains constant,” “gives more jobs,” and “a major change can clearly be seen.” Spelling errors—including “manufacturning,” “argriculture,” “rema ins” (written as “reamins”), and “reatail”—are noticeable and reduce clarity. Use precise trend language consistently, such as “employment rose,” “remained stable,” and “fell,” and check spelling carefully. Avoid vague phrases when a direct comparison or trend description would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “On the other hand” and a concluding sentence beginning “Meanwhile.” However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms are frequent enough to make parts difficult to interpret. For example, “retail and healthcare were remains constant and same starts from 6 million” combines incompatible verb forms, while “a sudden little decline can be seen” does not accurately or clearly express the intended trend. There are also problems with agreement and tense, as in “both remains at same level.” Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and keep tense consistent when describing historical data. Proofread articles and plural forms as well.

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