Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrate that the numbers of jobs in four sector available in US market from 1960 to 2020.

Overall from these 80 years healthcare jobs are increase and manufucturing jobs are decrease while retail emplyment rate are slightly upward and agricultural jobs are slightly downward.

During the first 20 year till 1980 manufucturing industry grow and jobs are created grow from 15 millions to 20 millions while in that time period agricultural jobs are decrease suddenly and comes from about more than 5 million to 3 millions as other sectors like retail and healthcare jobs in US industry consistantly grow while from 1980 to 2020 manufucturing jobs rate towards downfall and comes less than 15 million in 2020 although agricultural rate of employment is about mainatined from 1980 to 2020 in this time retail and healthcare jobs both are increease on smooth rate and comes on more than 15 million which is much higher than other sectors of US market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad pattern accurately: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, healthcare grows strongly, retail increases, and agriculture falls. The overview captures these contrasts, and you include useful figures for manufacturing and agriculture in 1960 and 1980. However, some key comparisons are less fully reported. In particular, healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million, while retail reaches a similar level by 2020; these endpoint figures and their convergence would make the main changes clearer. The claim that retail and healthcare grow at a “smooth rate” is too general, since their increases differ across periods. Also, manufacturing ends at about 13 million, rather than simply “less than 15 million.” More precise selection and explanation of the main figures would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overall summary, and a paragraph describing changes over time. This gives the reader a broad route through the information, and time markers such as “During the first 20 year” and “from 1980 to 2020” help establish sequence. However, the final paragraph is one very long sentence containing several trends, which makes comparisons difficult to follow. The repeated use of “while” also creates a somewhat mechanical link between ideas, and the reference to “other sectors” is not always precise. Divide the details into shorter sentences or separate paragraphs by contrasting trends—for example, manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare—and use clearer links such as “by contrast” or “meanwhile.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “grow,” “downfall,” “upward,” and “downward,” so the general direction of change is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph summary. Phrases such as “jobs are created grow,” “employment rate,” and “comes on more than 15 million” do not express the data naturally; “number of jobs,” “rose,” and “reached” would be clearer. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “manufucturing,” “emplyment,” “consistantly,” and “increease.” Aim for precise trend verbs and check spelling, especially for repeated key terms. This would make the account easier to read and more appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses and contrasts, showing some range. The main trends can generally be understood, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “The graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “healthcare jobs are increase” should use a correctly formed verb such as “increased” or “have increased.” In “manufacturing industry grow,” the tense and article are also missing. The long final sentence joins many clauses without clear punctuation, making its structure difficult to control. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs for the historical data, then combine ideas selectively using accurate conjunctions.

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