Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph elucidate information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. After elucidate iformation by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparison where relevents is Manufacturing, Retailm, Agricultureb, and Heathcare. first of all elucidate the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US in 1960 to 2020. In 1960, No of jobs accoding to the chart is 15 millions, and more jods are in 1980 that exat jobs are 20 millions. Next in 2000 have been 17 millions and last one is 2020 have been 13 millions job,All these information about Manufacturing. Next talk about Retail, it have been in 1960 only 6 millions jobs. second, In 1980 have been only 10 millions jobs are avalable, third, In2000 have been same to same but 5millions different 1980 that is 15millions. last one is 2020 have been 16 millions jobs are avalable. Next in agriculture have been very low number of jobs is only 6 millions,and in 1980 have been 3 millions jobs and in 2000 have been same 3 millions and last one is 2020 have been 2 millions. lastly discused about healthcare jobs, In1960 have been 3 millions of jobs in 1980 5 million, next 2000 is 11 millions job last one is 2020 have been 16 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report figures for all four sectors and include several key values, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, and agriculture declining to 2 million by 2020. However, the response mainly lists data and does not provide a clear overview of the most important patterns—for example, that manufacturing peaked and then declined, while retail and healthcare generally grew, and agriculture fell. There is also a factual error: healthcare began at 2 million, not 3 million. The opening repeats the task wording rather than summarising the chart’s main features, and some comparisons are unclear. To improve, give a concise overview and select the most significant trends alongside accurate supporting figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving from manufacturing to retail, agriculture and healthcare, so the reader can identify which sector is being discussed. However, the information is not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the repeated transitions “Next,” “second,” “third” and “last one” make the account feel like a list rather than a connected summary. Some links are difficult to follow, as in “In 2000 have been same to same but 5millions different 1980.” The opening also repeats the task instructions and delays the actual description. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview and grouped detail paragraphs; use comparisons to connect related trends rather than relying on a sequence of labels.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “jobs,” “millions,” “next” and “last one.” Some wording makes the meaning difficult to understand, particularly “same to same but 5millions different 1980,” while “jobs are avalable” is not a natural way to describe the figures in a graph. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “elucidate,” “relevents,” “accoding” and “discused,” and inaccurate forms such as “Retailm” and “Agricultureb.” These errors strain the reader, although the sector names and most numerical information remain recognisable. Build a small set of accurate trend terms—such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked” and “remained stable”—and practise spelling and collocations for describing data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies on a very limited range of sentence patterns, often using fragments or incomplete clauses, such as “In 1980 have been only 10 millions jobs are avalable” and “Next 2000 is 11 millions job last one is 2020 have been 16 millions jobs.” Verb forms and sentence construction are frequently inaccurate, and punctuation is inconsistent: several ideas run together without full stops, as in “13 millions job,All these information.” These problems sometimes make relationships between figures unclear. Use straightforward complete sentences with a subject and verb, for example, “Retail employment rose from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980.” Then check tense consistency, articles, plural forms and punctuation before submitting.

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